My Fallen Angel

A story for my new group: "Romantic Romance".

The first time someone ever asked me to dance was a friday night at our first school dance. I was turning seventeen, a jounior in Pembrik High. My best friends Amy Jones, Krystal Baker, Jocelyn Jamesson, and Katy Lawrence had gone also. I had finally caught up with Amy--whom was looking for Krystal, Jocelyn and Katy--when I spotted him.

His name was Keith Brodry, and he was seventeen. He had broad, dirty blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes, and tan, honey colored skin. On this particular occasion, he was wearing a tux and shiny tap shoes.

I loooooove shiny things. Including his smile.

I had seen Keith once before this night. He was sitting at a table with his friends, including my brother, Eric. Eric was a fiesty boy with lots of friends, so I wasn't surprised to see him there. I liked him; he was cute, clean shaved, and an honest kid, as I heard from Eric. He had no glasses, unlike my brother and I, was said he wore contacts (which I highly doubted).

He walked up to me and extended his tan hand. "Hello," he said in a unmistakable English accent.

"Hey," I tried playing it cool. "You're British, 'uh?"

He laughed, in a large bellow that no one seemed to notice. "Nah," he answered happily, in what I noticed was a regular American accent (which was not really an accent). "Just kidding."

I liked him already.

"So, I hear your Eric Shandler's sis," he grinned, obviously trying to play it cool also. I didn't see why.

"Yeah," I coughed. "I'm Jane Shandler."

Then, I realized that his hand was still extended. Umbarrassedly, I shook it.

"Eric says a lot about you," he said innocently. "He says your smart, kind, and gets good grades."

"Are you sure he's talking about me?" I joked playfully. I liked him.

"Yes, of course." he laughed in a great bellow again. Then, he shuffled his shoes and looked down. He murmured something.

"What was that?"

"He also said you were a clutz and not very athletic."

"Now that sounds like me!" I cried.

We laughed together, and people started to stare at us. I didn't care. I'd finally found someone who likes me beyond my flaws (I didn't know if love was tied in or not yet). Yet, I certainly loved him.

"When did you meet Eric?" I tried to change the subject. It didn't occur to me why.

"This week, acutally." he replied. "I tripped on some books in the hall and he helped me up. 'Been friends ever since."

"So you think my brother's nice, 'uh?" I questioned quizzically.

He laughed. "Yeah. He pretty nice. Helpful, too." he leaned in towards my face, his dirty blonde hair swinging into his sparkling eyes that were lit by the candlelight. "And if he's nice, I can't imagine what his sister might be like."

I chuckled nervously. "Do you mean that in a bad way?"

"NO, no!" he leaned backwards, obviously afraid he offended me. "Just curious, that's all."

"I have many flaws, in case your wondering."

"I am."

"Well then, Mr. Gentleman, may I have this dance." Slow dancing music had come over the speaker.

"You may," he said, then locked his arms around me.

I couldn't make out what song it was, but it was slow and tranquil. In his eyes I saw a whole other universe, sparkling and shinning at my disposure. It was fantastic! I leaned in closer, bending my weight towards his. Keith did the same. Instantly we were face to face, smiling uncontrolably.

Before I knew it, his lips were briefly brushing mine.

"I don't think you have that many flaws," he said, then kissed me once more.

"You're the first boy I ever kissed." I told him.

Proudly, he pronouced, "Then, I'm glad to have been the first to have kissed the most beautiful girl."

"I want to dance forever." I told him again.

"I grant you wish." he told me.

Then, I stared into his universal eyes and watched my own little piece of forever.

Author's Note

My first, perfect love story. Completed! Thanks to the members of Romantic Romance!!

Reviews

[allonsy_doctor]

Ha ha thanks guys! I'm writing an actual book from the point of view of Keith, and yea. I'll post it as soon as I can!

[Bella-Marie]

WOWOWOWOWOWOW! I am normally a hater of romance but this hit the spot! Woop! Welsh done!

[Céce]

Beautiful, adorable story! I loved how raw and realistic is it. Like cloud6 said, there are a few spelling mistakes, but nothing really big. So honest...and what lovely little details you added to make it come to life! Good job.

Thanks for entering in my contest, and keep writing!

Jane

[Serend1p1ty]

It was a great story. Grammar was good, random spelling mistakes, but you pieced that story really really well.
I think this is just me, but the romance seemed a little much haha, but like I said, it's just me & this is a romance group so it works!
Description is also vibrant, gave the story a great dimension to it. Scratch that, the romance was actually perfect, it showed exactly how you felt, so yeah, wonderful story!