A Goodbye Letter

This was the goodbye letter I sent to my first love

Why do I seem to fall in love before the right time? Why did I fall in love with you? These are the questions I keep asking myself over and over and over again. All I've been able to come up with is, "It's just my nature." I was made to love, I was made to give. When you look at me, all you see is what's on the outside. It's not me. I am not who or what you think I am. I am a different being on the inside that can only be seen with the heart. My being is something special, a creation unlike what you'd expect. I was woven and spun, and breathed into when I was made. My spirit was created in a place I will return to one day. From the beginning of my existence my Maker has been my guide, my teacher, my protection, and my strength. He has given me the tools I need to live, wisdom to make the right choices, strength for the battles I will encounter, and faith to live the unknown life. I am not afraid. I am not alone. When you weren't there to comfort me, my Maker was there. When you weren't there to defend me, my Maker was there. He has created in me the being He wanted me most to be. I am who I am supposed to be. I am in the right place. Though fear may try to tell me that I am not so special, my Maker is always there to prove to me who I really am. I will live the life He intended me to live, never questioning his guidance. He has never led me astray; He will never lead me astray, unlike you. My heart will always trust Him; my heart will always love Him. My heart may not always trust you, but it will always love you, more than anyone in your life.

You have been my joy for the past year, but my heart still aches with the love that you have not seen or heard. It's not supposed to hurt like this, but once I love, I never stop loving. I will always remember you. I will always remember the dreams I've had of us together. I wanted them to take place, but in reality, life is a disappointment. 
The person I am is stronger than you think, but yes, I have a porcelain heart. It is easy to break me, but easy to mend me. The pain you have caused me has pierced my heart like an arrow; it has left a wound that will take time to heal. You never know the damage you may be causing someone, because the wound is inside. It's easy to hid and easy to cover, but the pain is immense. It's a pain that is indescribable. Scars start to form as markings of past battles. My heart hurts. Scars are forming. Yes in time the pain will subside, but not the memories of you. Nor the love I have for you.
Goodbye my first love. Goodbye.

Reviews

[Lia]

A beautiful piece. I love how you've expressed the hurt and your courage. Thanks xx

[Johann L. Kohler]

I certainly know how this feels; I like the lack of flowery language, and even though I see some unnecessary repetition, I understand. "Yes in time..." to the end is so true, and you didn't dress it up more than you needed to. Very nice, overall.