The prologue for my new book, The Dog and her Boy (TDB).
Prologue
It was dark. Very dark. That was the first thing the puppy remembered about her new place. She was lying on cold cement, and it was wet and dark. Her tiny, fragile nose twitched on the tip of her muzzle. Whimpering, she crawled under a large, metal thing in the middle of the cement. A big, yellow thing of the same kind roared down the asphalt road, and the puppy howled and cowered back as a puddle in water splashed up and got all over her black and tan fur.
The next thing she remembered was a small, pale face looking at him. "Well hello," it said. "You look wet, and cold." The thing picked her up. "You don't deserve to be out here in the cold. I'm gonna take you inside." Little did the puppy know, a whole new door was being opened for her, rather than the green one out front of the house.
I think the story is going to be cute and interesting.
This seems more like the start of the first chapter than the prologue.
Your vocabulary and description are acceptable. However, your sentence structure is a bit choppy.
The first two sentences "It was dark. Very dark." was a good opening to the story. But after very short sentences, a nice lengthly descriptive one would go well after it. But overall you're a good writer.
I think the story is going to be cute and interesting.
This seems more like the start of the first chapter than the prologue.
Your vocabulary and description are acceptable. However, your sentence structure is a bit choppy.
The first two sentences "It was dark. Very dark." was a good opening to the story. But after very short sentences, a nice lengthly descriptive one would go well after it. But overall you're a good writer.