To Partake or Not

Is it the physical body and the blood ... or just a parable? Genre: They need a VERY Religious category. : )

The Partake or Not

 

Is it the physical body and the blood -- or just a parable?

 

 

 

I’ve always been uncomfortable attending Catholic Church.  I’ve only been to a few for weddings or funerals. I am a non-denominational Christian. I find myself quite put off when it comes time for communion.
     The priest says just prior that only practicing Catholic’s should partake. Thud, my stomach turns and I feel rejected. I remain seated, knowing it is not what God would want. God welcomes all who believe. My relationship with God makes it all okay and I chose to partake. This particular time was my first visit to my nephew’s family church. Sadly, it was a funeral that brought me there.

 

 

The Passing of Daniel

 

My nephew Daniel died young. Daniel was an amazingly funny, sweet, smart, and talented young man and so very loved. His wake held an endless line. It is especially difficult when the young are taken, though I trust in God.

 

We had been praying for my nephew to recover. He was badly hurt in a car accident. I prayed relentlessly for God’s healing, but mostly for God’s will. When the family was called back to the hospital, it was hard to remain positive. I continued praying. As I often do, I opened my bible, asking for God to direct me where he’d like me to read.

 

The book flipped to Daniel 10: subtitled “The Vision of a Glorious Man”.
It was then I knew Daniel would most likely be seeing God.
It was sad, but this reading brought me peace.
To paraphrase Daniel 10:

***

…his face appeared as lightning, his eyes lamps of fire, and his arms and his feet colored as brass, and the voice of his words like the voice of a multitude…I Daniel alone saw the vision…and there remained no strength in me. And when I heard the voice of his words, then was I in a deep sleep… A hand touched me, which set me upon my knees and upon the palms of my hands. And he said unto me, O Daniel, a man greatly beloved, understand the words that I speak unto thee, and stand upright: for unto thee am I now sent. And when he had spoken this word unto me, I stood trembling. Then said he unto me, Fear not, Daniel: for from the first day that thou set thine heart to understand, and to chasten thyself before thy God, thy words were heard, and I come for thy words...

***

I found out later that night Daniel had gone.

 

The Wake and Funeral; Meeting the Priest

 

During Dan’s wake, I was sitting a couple rows from the casket watching a movie scroll pictures from Dan’s life.
I met eyes with a priest, he signaled to me and said, “I know you.”
He knew of me not, yet he knew my relative’s and perhaps I have their eyes. How cool.
I introduced myself, “You must be Father James, thank you so much for being Dan’s priest.”
I told him how I flipped to Daniel 10 that night.

 

The priest said, “This is a gift, just for you from God, he will continue to show you things as such. It is amazing you share it so freely, many are too afraid.”

 

I went back to taking photos, at the family’s request, and meeting Dan’s family, friends and co-workers. Much time was spent consoling many through their streams of tears. They all saw Dan every day and knew him so well. I live far away and sadly had not seen Dan for a few years.

 

The next day as I entered the church, overwhelming emotions finally hit me. As I sat in the pew, I longed to take communion and it seemed more important than ever. I thought God would want me to and though this time was for Dan and I was getting distracted. Then I heard the priest say, “…all practicing Catholics approach and receive”… the rejection then layered over my sadness. I remained seated.

 

 

My Second Chance for Communion

 

Later that evening we all went back for mass. It was so great to be there supporting the family and to get to hear the angelic music performed by my sister, brother-in-law, and niece.

 

It was different for me… I decided I would talk to the priest.

 

I approached him outside and said, “I am a non-denominational Christian, but I would like to take communion in your church.” I assumed he would say no and it would confirm my feelings toward the Catholic Church. At least I could say I asked and somehow it would solve this once and for all.

 

He replied, looking down at my goth-style black T-shirt with cross in beaded silver, “I wish I could say yes, but I can’t.”

 

        “I knew you would say no, but I wanted to ask. It’s ok, I understand.”

 

 “Well you see, we believe that God is truly present in the bread and wine…”

 

         I interrupted, “I believe that… present in spirit… and if God wants me to have it, it should be his choice. And if I am not to receive it, then I won’t, and it won’t harm you or your Church or me.
(I’d heard some Catholics think non-believers or non-Catholics can actually harm the Eucharist or themselves.)
And I have asked God for his protection in this regard.”

 

Touching my cheek gently, he replied,
“You dear should become Catholic.”

 

          Convicted I said, “No, I will never become Catholic. It is my calling not to. I reject it… if for this reason alone that we are discussing. I do not support pushing people away and telling them no. All are welcome. Jesus would not push people away. Thank you for discussing this with me.”

 

To my surprise, he reached for me quickly and said,
“Yes, please take communion.
 I do not want you to feel turned away.
And I am impressed that you asked.”

 

 

The Decision to Partake

 

Sitting in the pew, I was surprised to have permission. But now I was questioning whether I should go through with it. My intentions for receiving communion were solid, but what if receiving it here was wrong. Is this what God would have me do?

 

I had attended seminars where I heard arguments against the Catholic Church.
The separating of people from Jesus, through the saints and confessions; preferring we go directly to God with no intercessor.
Some don’t think Jesus should be on the Catholic cross, the symbol.
He has risen (this matters not to me, he was there at one point), but it matters in the way of ongoing symbolism. It makes a strong statement.
And the communion is done in such formality and the Old Testament supports this (that’s fine, it is a nice ceremony, though not required).
And I’ve heard some argue, “It’s as if they make the bread and wine an idol”.
(God warned of false idols. I do not believe the Catholics make it false; they go beyond the call of duty to invite God in.).

 

And all the baggage continued to rip through my mind. Some Catholics had told me, “this is the one true church, the church that’s built on the rock, the church of so-and-so, the lineage, that I’d “not arrived” in real faith if I didn’t belong and that I may not go to heaven, or that I wasn’t truly married if not in the Catholic faith. … yada, yada.”
      None of this sits well with me. All this “you must be Catholic” talk.
It’s a gut thing I guess. And not being raised this way makes it even more difficult to catch up to a seasoned Catholic mind.

 

When I talk about my belief in Jesus perhaps I turn off those who don’t believe. I remember how I felt before I believed in him. I thought you could reach God numerous ways. I thought people who believed “Jesus is the only way” alienated other people. To me they were insensitive. I continued to study.
Jesus said: “I am the door to heaven, and no one comes to the Father except through me.”
 I fought it, but I finally believed it, and I’m glad I do.

 

I wondered if this church is indeed the one true church, if I am wrong, would I be taking communion for the first time? Would it be different?

 

The main difference is the preparation of the elements and the belief of what they become.
 Catholics believe the bread is actually turned into the body of Christ (flesh) and the wine turned into his blood, they call it transubstantiation.
It is either/or, it cannot be both.
For one to be right, one must be wrong.
Either the elements are officially converted to flesh and blood or they remain unchanged but symbolically represent Christ’s presence by our faith and are made spiritually real in us. I choose the latter, would God care if I got this wrong?

 

Those who are allowed to partake in Catholic communion are required to attend a ton of classes, and who-knows-what-else prior this rite of passage. I realized my going up there could be offensive even though I’ve taken communion countless times in other churches. And I don’t remember the first time I took communion, there was no special gown, no formalities.

 

Instead of focusing on the hymns, I reached for a booklet. The inside front cover discussed the importance and meaning of partaking of the Eucharist.
Digging down, it mentioned the priest could make an exception, for emergencies (yikes) or for believers who are not Catholic and to promote harmony amongst the churches.
I tried to separate the controversies and decided God would enter the elements for me as he saw fit.

 

I pushed all these thoughts out, pish posh…it matters not. I knew my partaking would have purpose. The deal was sealed. I would do it.

 

 

The Act of Communion

 

The special wafers and the wine had gone through some ten minutes of preparation and prayer from the priest, and we were then called to come forward.

 

This time, I noticed the priest did not say “all practicing Catholics”. My niece later told me this is only said during weddings and funerals, assuming non-Catholics would be in attendance and not know what to do. It was assumed anyone at mass was Catholic, Oh, duh! This makes good sense now. Good to know.

 

I took the wafer from the priest as he said, “Body of Christ”.

 

I stepped away, faced the cross at the front of the church, took it, paused, and prayed. Everyone else quickly took it while walking and crossing their chest saying, “Amen”.
I held up the line briefly.

I sipped the wine from the fancy golden goblet as a woman said, “The Blood of Christ”.

 

As I drank it, though honored, I felt out of place and uncomfortable. I knew I’d not be doing the traditional Catholic “cross your chest with your hand thing” as everyone else was. I was distracted. And, I just drank from a cup many others had. Surely God would keep us from contracting diseases while partaking of communion.

 

Walking back to the pew, I realized my thoughts were not where they should be.

 

But most importantly, I’d been more emotionally moved when I took communion in my own church which is a church with no fancy formalities. Where grape juice is administered in little plastic cups and passed around, alongside a cracker bit. No fancy preparation in sight. The entire congregation takes it in their own time, yet together, while the pastor says, “This is my body and this is my blood that was shed for you…take it in remembrance of me.” And the only thing considered prior to taking communion long ago was simply my belief in God.

 

Whatever the reason we differ, the most important thing I discovered by pushing this communion envelope is simple…

 

It matters not where or by whom you receive communion… it matters what is going on in your head and heart while you receive it. Is God not great enough to decide who believes will receive?

 

 

After Communion

 

My brother-in-law and niece had been occupied doing the music. I went up into the Church loft to watch their last hymn. When the mass ended I told them what occurred and they were quite surprised.

 

My brother-in-law said, “You dear don’t realize how rare that is. That doesn’t happen! Father James does not do what he just did, ever.”

 

My niece said, “No way, really! Wow. Good.”

 

My nephew said, with a lip pursing and a nod, “Congratulations.”

 

I was impressed this priest did not turn me away, despite such technicalities.
As I was leaving I thanked the priest and told him he was awesome.

 

I have a newfound respect, not for Catholic beliefs or methods, but for one smart Catholic priest, one man, one who would choose to promote harmony amongst believers.

 

Days later, at my brother’s birthday dinner, I overheard my step-father and my name. I don’t know the full context of the conversation but by the time I listened in I heard, “Tanya is so convincing, she even got a Catholic priest to give her communion!”

 

For a brief moment, I felt accomplished. Was this a compliment from my step-father? The feeling quickly subsided. This was not done for a nod to my persuasiveness.

 

I looked across at my brother, who didn’t think I should have done it, and said, “I most likely won’t do it again, but I am glad I did. It showed me it is no different where you take it.”

 

He replied with a nod, “Yea-h”.

 

 

The Controversy

 

Returning to work, I told a friend who recently became Catholic. She was shocked. We discussed our differences. It eventually led to her telling me, “Never do it again! You don’t understand…”

 

***

At this very moment, while writing, this friend just called! I told her what I was writing and had just mentioned her! How bizarre!

She had an email on the Eucharist she wanted to forward to me, though this was not the purpose for her call.

Our call turned into a long discussion about the meaning of communion and God’s will, a discussion we’d already had. I opened the bible and quoted scripture, to keep it real. We went back and forth and agreed we believed the same thing, yet our differences came down to semantics. We both appreciated the timing of the call and she called it a “God wink”.

***

 

I read the email my friend sent. I realized my story must go further to discuss the implications of it all; as well as quote scripture to back up my words. I also realized my friend, sister, and other Catholics would be reading it and this would be quite controversial, perhaps upsetting. I am not in her shoes. I do not know how she feels. I do know when we challenge each other’s beliefs it can get very emotional. Did I need to temper my writing? Am I further promoting disagreement?

 

I was alarmed when my friend said, “Never do it again! You don’t understand the sacrament of it.”  I told her I would consider why she said it. And perhaps she is right, that perhaps I should not do it again. I don’t know if I will or not.

 

I do have to consider whether partaking disrespects the Catholic belief or supports it.
Am I being insensitive or promoting unity?

 

My friend eventually said, “I’m glad you told me. It reminds me why I hold it so sacred.”

Me too my friend, me too.

 

 

 

Backing It Up

 

Jesus talked about communion at his Last Supper. He knew he would be betrayed by one and sacrificed. In a nutshell, scholars would expand or correct me, the purpose of communion is his way of showing the disciples and us the importance of his sacrifice, to foreshadow his crucifixion, to do away with Old Testament sacrifices, to show the way of the new covenant (Him), to show how he would be present in us, until God returns;
by simply accepting Jesus, through the bread and wine, taken symbolically in remembrance of him. To renews in us the Holy Spirit inwardly and outwardly show our faith. “Faith without actions (works) is dead”.

 

Found in the New Testament in Matthew, Mark, and Luke.
They call these books synoptic).
Each book shares the same account regarding this passage and others:

 

***

While they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying, "Take and eat; this is my body." Then he took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, saying, "Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins." “I tell you, I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it anew with you in my Father’s kingdom.” Matthew 26:26-29
***

I looked it up in Mark 14:22-26 and it is the same, as well as in Luke 22:19-2.
There are countless references in John, though he is referred to as a maverick. Most importantly John captured a discussion with a group of Jews. They disagreed that Jesus was the “bread” from heaven. Jesus replied, “I am the bread of life”.

Is bread not written here as a parable?

Jesus said, I am the: bread of life, bread of God, living bread, flesh for life, blood of the new covenant; and countless other names: the word, the way, the door, the gate, the good shepherd (we are sheep), the vine, branch of the Lord, great light, rock eternal, the living stone, morning star, the rising sun, the truth, etc.

Jesus said he is the vine and we are the branches. Is this to say we are made of bark?

We are not to get lost in each word, but to understand the overall meaning. In Matthew 13:13, Jesus says he spoke in parables that only they (the disciples/or believers implied) would understand. One-third of Jesus’ teaching was in parables. Therefore, you have to believe before you read. And it is natural that we would read and then believe, but therein lies the problem. This is why the gate is narrow.
This is why heaven won’t be crowded.
(My attempt at bad unoriginal humor.)

God said he would mix up our languages and scatter us to confuse us, so we’d require even more faith to believe. We have the same core belief system, which is affirming, but we continue to hinder on semantics. The evidence on both sides goes onto infinity. I do not want to support the differences, but rather break them down, to support what we hold in common.

 

But Who Cares?

 

Many care. I am prepared to offend, though I hope to transcend differences. It shouldn’t be this complicated and there are bigger issues. We can only care enough to try to find out these answers.

And take communion in the meantime!  

 

And what have we got to lose… nothing … but everything.

 

Daniel is gone, but his Facebook website remains. Loved ones continue to leave him messages which seems to console. There is a section on Dan’s web page with standard questions: relationship status, birthday, and religious views, etc.

For religious views Daniel wrote: “catholic, but who cares about peoples religion?”
Perhaps a typical response from someone nineteen and playing it cool.

It matters not that Daniel was Catholic.
It matters not that he took communion from the Catholic Church his entire life.
I believe he believed.
I am comforted that my prayer led me to Daniel 10.

It mattered not to this priest that I wasn’t Catholic, he made an exception and something tells me “He Knew Me”, beyond resembling my sister or nephew, and perhaps that is his gift. He said to me, “others are too afraid”.

My friend said it seemed to come from a place of selfishness.
Really? Hmmm…  I could have avoided all of this and yes it can be exhausting, right?
I could have gone up and just taken communion and not said a thing, but then how would that have served you?

 

 

 

Little Mouse

May 25, 2008

Author's Note

RE: And what have we got to lose�nothing � but everything. (I'd be remiss not to say Catholics strongly believe we should be free from mortal sin prior to taking.) I'll look into that further. Surely I will have many edits on this. If you believe another way, I wouldn't mind hearing other views. Don't know if my writing/structure is getting better. I'm still too wordy. I'm working on that!

Reviews

[Carole]

This is a great piece of theology and the discussion of doctrinal issues. You covered so much and I found it interesting. I was raised Catholic, but I am non-denominational now so I know exactly what you were talking about. I remember well being encouraged not to take communion if we had not gone to confession and that those not members were encouraged not to partake. (I really don't understand that, when the majority of the others don't put that stipulation on people.)Technically, we don't believe any differently than they do in that Christ's life is in the body and the blood and the scripture does say if we take it unworthily (or having not made ourselves right with God) it will bring condemnation on us. I have heard stories of people getting sick and even dieing if they were not in right standing ....(I don't know if it's true or not??) Kind of scary and it is scriptural not to partake if this is the case.

[Kyle]

I am so glad I read this. I was raised a Catholic and I know in my heart that God is not with that church.

There is no where in the bible that is talks about a priest not being able to marry. As a result, too many men who want to be priests only do so since they dont prefer women in the first place. They prefer children. The church is responsible for much of that stuff happening.

[blondemom]

Hey, Tanya-

I was impressed with how your writing has improved and your views on partaking. I believe Father James himself would appreciate your ideas. Thanks for being you. I love you. Sabra

[Dianne]

Very interesting story you've written. I'm not Catholic, I've never been Catholic. I was raised Seventh Day Adventist, but now... Hmm, I guess it depends on what you believe how you would label me. I don't believe in God as a bigger human so to speak so I've been labled by some as atheist, thou I think I'd be more accurately described as agnostic. In truth, I don't think what someone believes religiously or spiritually is important. I'm much more interested in their intentions. The reason behind the way they choose to live and interact with others. I guess I'm not very impressed by people who "do good things" just to earn brownie points with God.

[Raef C. Boylan]

Thanks for reviewing my piece.
I came here to check out this piece, as you said it was related.
Just want to make it clear: I'm an atheist. Those letters were merely written to the concept of god, not to god personally, as I don't believe in any gods.
This was an interesting read. I guess being religious brings up many inner turmoils because of all the alternative interpretations and technical differences, as you've shown in this article.

I agree that the Catholic church can make non-Catholics feel excluded...but I think all religions do; it seems like there is an inevitable Us and Them mentality involved in keeping a faith.

Thanks for sharing all of these thoughts with us.

p.s.
"I choose the later, would God care if I got this wrong?" [later = latter?]

[TL Boehm]

Yup they need a 'very' religious category - or a theological/doctrinal discourse type category - this piece is solidly written - yet there is enough heart in it that it is resonant, easily read, not preachy and I found it incredibly interesting. I am a non denom myself - I was Lutheran for 16 years...so I am familiar with both closed communion where you have to be a member - and a more open communion in my current church. You present some valid discussion on this subject - backed with Scripture which is incredibly important, in fact it is vital to this type of writing.
Catholicism and mortal sin...I do believe the heart should be in the right place - but coming from the protestant/non denominational school of thought - we are never 'without sin' - we are just forgiven. Its like getting 'cleaned up' before you accept Christ. If you're so clean - why do you need a savior? That's another subject for another post
This is definitely well written and thought provoking. I'm glad you sent it to me.

[M Lamont]

Great story.
Writing - As I was reading this it never felt like it was too long; each section flowed to the next so it was easy to read.

Topic - well, too many sides to debate and I have my own thoughts on it but that is not the point. What I am I surprised at the tone of uncertainty here. If you felt so strong that God was OK with your actions, why worry about the disrespect factor? Especially after the act was already done. If you do believe in your actions, then stand by them, support them and help other understand them. You take away your own validity by questioning yourself afterwards.

As for unity - there are a lot of religions out there with their own beliefs, rights and rituals that are intended for their individual followers. So, are you starting a crusade to infiltrate each one to bring about unity? Of was this single act a moment of wanting to "briefly belong"?