The Fountain Intro

[b]AS I WRITE[/b], my loft apartment shifts to night enveloping me in darkness, except for my monitor. Writing, foregoing dinner, to capture what happened during a walk around my apartment today. I found myself sitting by a fountain that I'd had a vision of three years prior. I pursued the fountain relentlessly until I found it. But my journey with visions began when I was little. I found scriptures that imply God is "amongst you" if you have vision-like dreams... I started paying closer attention. I created a dream journal, which flowed over to a second volume. I found a pattern occur. I sketched my dreams that seemed to be vision-like: The Locust, The Shadowman, The Angel, and The Fountain.

Author's Note

This intro is in the "old text editor". Does anyone know the html coding for a larger font that works in here... Basic html coding did not work.

Reviews

[BrightEyes]

it's an incredible journey - I did find it hard to follow at times though because it seems to jump from one point to the next and back again. But, you already said you will be working on the order. I agree with Tammy here - "wait" is perhaps the hardest direction of all - I lack patience, I need action, I need "to do" something, anything. I look forward to checking this out again after you've made your changes.

[Celtic Cat]

Your intro gave me chills!!!! I don't have time to give you my full attention right now... so I will be back as soon as I can. I'm very excited with anticipation! woohoo!

[Emily B]

Interesting. I look forward. . .

[Solst Rapture]

As you know, although it was a little difficult to get through, it was an endearing piece of writing. This seems to me to set an interesting foundation to a further exploration of your spiritual faith. I look forward to reading it as it progresses.

Take care.

[T. N. Haynes]

wow, that's a lot of words. the piece, which I assume is meant to convey your most recent forays into spiritualism, contains some great (poetic, well-written) lines that really convey well. Time to whittle away the excess. you mention that you find it more effective to be concise when you talk to god. the same applies to writing. be careful about over-describing things. I could point to specific instances if you like. Here's my attempt at editing one of your paragraphs. Hopefully it's been improved (simplified). Meaning: it hasn't lost anything, but is easier to read.

There were five benches. I moved t get another perspective.
A guy approached with an old black and white speckled dog. They both seemed hesitant. The dog looked at his master and then at me. I caught their eyes and smiled. The owner finally spoke, "Ok, up". The dog hoisted itself onto the narrow fountain ledge. and lapped from the fountain.
"I bet he looks forward to this every day", I said,
"Yes, but he's tired. He'd jump all the way in though if I let him. Let's go", the owner said, giving the leash a gentle tug The pooch slowly stepped off the ledge. "Have a nice day," he said,and my smile grew as they walked away.

he last line was the best line, in my humble opinion. here's an idea: try starting anew with that line being the first. it might give you a new perspective.

[TL Boehm]

wait.......
man, I hate that when you get that answer from God. Sometimes I just wish I could get the 'Answer" to the issue, in clear, articulate tones - but it never happens.
This is an incredible story. As with any writing - the hardest part is gettingt out of your spirit and onto paper where you can wrestle with it. I would say you've mastered the hard part. The editing will happen as you progress.

[desertraven]

Another inspirational piece. Very well done.
Sandra

[Carole]

Wow! I agree with your need to tighten your prose, but it would be too time consuming to sit and do it for you. Have you ever read any dream books? I have one by Sandie Freed that is good, and another that encourages a journal. I too, have had many dreams and I have known that I have known they were God speaking to me.

I apologize because I know we are suppose to review on writing and no content, but in this case, I can't help reviewing on the content, since I believe completely in God's ability to speak to us in this way. I frequently pray for God to speak in this way, and guess what? HE DOES, without fail!

Tanya, this is very well done. I would definitely take the time to tighten it up and maybe even consider making three writings out of one, so it is not so long. I did get a bit lost towards the end. Better yet, maybe you are to write a book of your own experiences with dreams in chapter form?? Just some thoughts. Thank you for sharing this with me! :-) Carole