Woodberry Tree

A quick little adventure�will you journey to Woodberry Street?

A block from where I was raised stood Woodberry Street, a regular street with houses. Returning years later, I discovered an underground pathway led to the most amazing place. I traveled there to solve a mystery. Despite the darkness of the undergrowth I followed with good vibes as far as I could go. It was there I finally found the very tree responsible for it all. It was the most unique branching tree I'd ever seen. It was holding this entire space open, separating me from above while in this dark space below. Continuing forward by a show of splintering light. I knew this space held something for me. It was earthy, empty, and large stretching vast distances, yet still nothing, but always the tree. The trunk wider than I'd ever seen with roots buckling and twisting beyond. The entire space elevated by planks of decking separating me from the dirt and the tree. Finally a piece to this puzzle came into focus on the right. I had walked far enough and discovered something of man occupied in this vast place. The bare furnishings of a simple single bed, table, and lamp sat alone, the tree now parallel to my left. I walked to the edge of the open planking, yet still far from the gigantic tree. To journey any farther would have required me to step from the safety of the planking. So there I stood as my eyes followed the roots to the center base. It was there I saw a single pair of flip-flops resting alone. I realized you were camped out reading at the base, safely on Woodberry Street, at the very tree of purpose, light, and life! Branching out where succulent berries bloom as the growing wood abounds and roots take deep hold of you intertwining your heart with love and your mind with purpose. I'd never woken with such peace. This continued belief has inspired me with so much hope.



Little Mouse
March 4, 2008

Author's Note

*Inspired by a dream from last September 2007 after giving a book to a friend, yet not knowing whether they were doing ok or reading.

A review below mentioned filling in the story more. Thanks for being kind with your reviews! I don't write stories, in fact I avoid writing stories, or paragraph format in general. I was an art major and writing is difficult for me. The lit classes I was "forced" to take inspired me and once I got into stuff I enjoyed the class more than I realized, but, my papers were always so very redlined. I will encourage any technical input. I've always had issues with order and tenses and I think years of taking German class screwed up my sentence structure. Cheers guys!

Reviews

[desertraven]

Well written piece! Fun and inspirational.
Sandra

[Kathleen Marie]

I love the feel of this enchanting piece. It feels like springtime, so carefree and simply lovely.

[Rhonda]

I want to read under a tree now.

Nice job. You need to add some commas here and there. Let me know if you want me to be more specific.

-R

[Nicholas Hallows]

This is am enchanting piece of writing. (sorry it's taken me so long to get round to reviewing it) I agree it could be fleshed out more because it has a lot of potential and could make a charming story with a little more plot - but I know dreams don't always conform to the 'rules' of literature. Thanks for sharing. NH

[Celtic Cat]

Now I want to go live under a tree! D****t! It was a very cool adventure...I liked it a lot. It was fun being underground with you and discovering the bed and flip flops. Flip flops...very interesting. Hopefully not having to do with your friend flip flopping about reading that book! An interesting tale...I really enjoyed it!

[M Lamont]

I read the story and my interest was peaked enough to keep reading. I felt like things were missing but thought it might have been on purpose to allow the reader to use their imagination. Now that I have read your Author's Note, it make sense that there is not more detail....dreams always have gaps...so now the story make sense in it's flow and detail. My thoughts - i first imagined you had stumbled upon a homeless persons dwelling, but then I moved to a more beautiful scene, like ina catalog ot TV ad, where they set up indoor furtniture outside, like on a beach or in a field and I just want to get in the bed under the tree!

[T. N. Haynes]

Please understand that the following "critique" comes with the caveat that I don't usually feel qualified to review anyone else's work, but I will mke an exception here because I see a lot of potential in your writing. Ok here goes...
""
I'm not sure this qualifies as a "story" per say because it lacks a few key elements: one being "conflict."

This is only my own bias, but I believe any story worth reading must show some character growth (overcoming something, be it fear, odds, demons, etc...). What you've done so far here is paint a very vivid setting for your story. But imagery alone does not a story make. What about plot? Now, fill in some details. Give us a reason to care about this place (does it hold some historical significance in the mind of the narrator) and what does he/she learn from returning to that place? Why did the narrator feel compelled to go there in the first place? What was the mystery that needed solving? And how, exactly. did the tree solve it? what answers did it contain?

You write beautifully, ow you just need to flesh out the story a bit.

[Karen Raquepo]

This short fascinating story lessened my boredom made me relax in it's calmness. Thanks for this share, Little Mouse.

[Ecox]

Very nice. Your sentences are very poetic. This lends well to the dreamlike structure of it all. Perfectly, awesomely brief! It seems that the other reviewers feel that you should have written more, but I would consider that a good thing. A good piece of writing will always leave a person questioning and wanting more! Well done.

[Jillian]

this is cool, its different. i dont really hav any say about the sentence structure or anything cuz im not very good with that either, but other than that its a cute little story!! =))