No Silver Lining

Sadly dead to you now... for the "Love Lost" contest

Sadly dead to you now

Mournfully trying to grieve

 

The ache so infiltrating

Standing up but kicked out inside

 

The gaze penetrated to the core

The laughter brought such joy

 

Loving deeper than the river runs long

Sadly turning to hard cracked mud

 

Gave up eternity for a chance

And chance will never come

 

Touching imaginary depths of insanity

The one never to touch and hold

 

Carrying this for far too long

Kindly asked to set it down

 

Do you realize what you’ve done?

 

Gracefully lying in a casket of trappings

The lining no longer silver

 

Devastatingly shut down

Holding my pear alone

 

 

Little Mouse

February 10, 2008

Reviews

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

A touching, poignant write. Very sad indeed. Stunning imagery especially the last several lines. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha

[Amor-de-angel]

You can read the pain in your lines. Well done on this write.

[BrightEyes]

this feels like the glimpse into the mind of someone at a funeral in places - in others, I feel like this is a story of betrayal. I liked that it was written in couplets - each standing on its own.

laura

[Dezaraye]

This is such a heartwrenching piece. I can feel the heart breaking down through the lines at the lost love.

[Liv(E)]

Ouch.

I really like this. I can relate to the feeling.

[Celtic Cat]

ouch, LM, ouch. Fits the contest perfectly. Sad, how our life's painful experiences can easily be summed up in a contest piece, but that is what makes us writers after all. Your words penetrate the core, as per usual. ((hugs))

[Cold Coffee Magazine]

This poem examplifies what makes us all stronger. I love the emotion you'v poured into your writing.

Dave

[*^*my*beautiful*zelda*l..]

awww... love is so heart breaking sometimes... unforgiving... cruel....

Before high school, Ive tried to like boys-- only to be disappointed, so I tried staying away from them completely. I was planning on never liking boys until I was sixteen, which is when Im allowed to date... but then... sigh, I told my friend I liked him. Im crazy about him and this other guy. they're nice to me-- not like all the OTHER boys, who are total jerks...

A beautifully written peice! keep on writing, you're good at it (plus, your vocabulary is WAY more advanced than mine XP)
"The ache so infiltrating
Standing up but kicked out inside"
Amazing :)