My Secret Beloved,
I sit here on this gray, dreary day and my thoughts turn to you. My own ray of light. You are my sunshine and I miss everything about you. Your dimples when you smile, your unruly hair, your soft ivory skin... I could name a thousand things. I miss my heart racing when you suddenly walked into a room I was in. It is a physical ache within my being not to be able to see you. It was selfish, what we did but I regret none of it. Absolutely none. The passion we shared, the long nights together... You reawakened something inside me and I am truly grateful to have loved you...to have been with you. But you are my brothers bride to be and he loves you deeply. I could see it when he looked at you. Hopefully he didn't see his own expression reflected upon my face. I tried to hide it as much as I could but that was a difficult task. What I do regret is how I left... Abrupt, with no word to where I was going. I was quite cruel to you that day I left but you were so upset...I couldn't stand to look you or I would have stayed. How much I wanted to turn around and hold you, wipe away your tears. Kiss you. Tell you everything was going to be alright. I decided though, it is my brother that deserves you. I rather it be me the one in pain than him...so I had to get away. I truly think it is for the best and you will live happily ever after with him.
I love you.
I love more than anything
I don't know if I'll even send this letter to you. Maybe it is better for you to think I am the b*****d that left you in tears, letting you think I didn't care. Maybe you'll forget about me faster...
I will Never forget about you.
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