Tell Him, please don't read if offended by words against God

My Friend Talks to God

She's dying over and over again
From the insanity of the missing
The heart will repair
Though I dare not say this
At the sky she stares
Continuously
She says life must go on
I can't go on

I don't want to be without him
She says while opening the second bottle of vodka
If I'd had a choice I'd of gone with him
But I'd never wish for him to ever feel
This crushing feeling
Not for an instance

In the night she thinks I'm sleeping
But I hear everything

Dear God
I was wondering if I could have a moment of your time
I know your a busy bloke and that
Your tired with all these voices shouting up at ya
I would be too
But I thought I'd give it a go
I know your the universal spirit and there's lots on your mind
So tell you what, I'll talk and you can just listen
Give me your views at the end

I was wondering if you've looked in on me lately
See God I'm feeling incredibly unhappy
Distraught you could say
Miserably alone
I know there's millions probably billions
I don't know the average but no matter
I know there's other's wanting your attention
The people dying from cancer
The African village women screaming for you to stop the men taking their kids
Putting them on smack to fight their twisted gorilla wars
Our boys in Afghanistan getting maimed and slaughtered

So firstly I was wondering if it's normal to feel this way
You see I think of him so much
He enters my dreams as soon as I close my eyes
Is this your doing ??
Tell me what I have to do to stop this fog,
Tell me when I reach the other side I'll still be me,
Tell me it's ok to still cry silently, without even knowing,
Then tell me how to stop the tears,
Tell me if this ache in my chest relieves,
Tell me I'm standing this pain to be with him again,
Go on tell me !!!?????

I'm so alone, I bet you got all the Angels up there keeping you company,
Hay I thought they were supposed to be down here looking after us ??
Point is, the real point is,
You got something of mine and I want it back,

You took all my grandparents without asking,
Let them all die slowly of cancer before their time, all of them.
By the way I think you've had enough cancer out of my family thankyou very much,
Do you feed off it ?
You took my dog when I was little,
Your know the one scruffy little Jack rustle running about up there,
He's a proper little cracker,
Missed him awfully I did.
You took my dad three times on the operating table,
But he's still here.
It was like holding your breath for six weeks every time he went through those shiny metal doors,
I mean what sort of sick joke is that,
" You can have him"
" no you can't"
"You can have him "
" I want him back "
It felt like I had aeroplane ear.
All five of us living in an empty house moving around each other like ghosts.
If the bible's true you should know all this,
But I got an idea you ain't looked in on me at all.

I'm not blaming you, well I sort of am,
I think your a really good bloke,
But took too much on, we all do it now and then don't we.
I mean the church wrote your book didn't it,
It's really down to Matthew, Mark, Luke and John,
You really should send those boys down here,
I know a lot of people who want a word with them,
They're responsible for war, famine and mass genocide.
Because be honest all wars start at religion one way or another don't they.

I bet if you felt one second of what I feel,
He would still be beside me,
The empty feeling I couldn't give a name to if I tried,
Would disappear.
The aftermath of such evil wars wouldn't of happened.
I don't believe you would still let our boys in Afghanistan get themselves blown up and shot in the head.
I don't believe,
If you felt an instance of this loss,
You would've of let Osama bin Laden get away with all the lives he took on 9/11.
The Jews getting gassed and thrown in pits of thousands.

I'm sorry I've gone off track,
What I was saying is,
My dad told me if he had died when he got kidney failure it's God's will.
Well if it's your will,
Do me a favour send me my husband back.
I wasn't finished with him yet !!!!!!

And if you can't do that,
Tell him something for me,
Tell him I love him,
But lie, say I'm ok,
Say I'm getting by,
I got sleeping pills off the doc,
Say I'm almost happy,
Not to worry,
Tell him I'm rushing towards death for him,
That I've stocked up on vodka,
God, tell him I'll be there soon.