Bipolar

i don't care enough
i care too much

in between is always foreign to me

so i see it bright

what you call light

and i feel it burn
what you call life

though,

 I will never see what you see
 I will never feel what you feel

like a match that's burnt

beyond the flame
i have no future

not beyond the fire

Author's Note

Reviews

[Poetic Beauty]

Ahh feeling too much or not enough and doing both at the same time isn’t something people relate to unless they have felt it themselves. It’s hard to explain but I think you have done it quite well.

The wording and choices for this poem make it understandable to those reading it

[Davidgeo]

Explaining things like this is like wrestling greased felines.

[Chris Shaw]

How difficult it must be to not be able to find the middle path. This makes me appreciate the struggles that some have. Emotions can wreak havoc when they are out of balance.

Chris

[Davidgeo]

It's strange how the same space can be contorted so differently. We are all looking at the same things, just in incredibly different ways. Too many people, this will not self resolve.

[SheIsMe]

Incredibly personable. The last few lines really solidify the feeling of the poem. Well done.

[LazerRays]

Anyone with mood disorders know the struggle of bouncing back and forth between emotions that contradict one another. To be a walking contradiction is often painful in itself. Getting beyond that flame, of which burns inside you, is the only way out

[Davidgeo]

Getting beyond what burns inside is not so simple. Some people don't experience the real symptoms until middle age. When they have an entire world turn upside down in the span a couple years... there is no proper way to deal with that because everyone's world weighs a little different when it's upside down. In short... there really is no way out. You learn to control what triggers you or... well, it just keeps getting worse until it can't anymore.

[LazerRays]

I do have to respectfully disagree. Getting out doesn’t mean “all your problems solved” it means, like you said, learning to cope with your emotions. In that way, it is sort of the way out. If a problem is no longer out of control, then you may not have completely solved it, but you have found a way out of that problem. Which is letting it get to you.

[Davidgeo]

I'm not sure what you're disagreeing with. We are basically saying the same things.

[LazerRays]

Me neither. Haha

[Pennywriter]

I can completely relate to this poem: being "emotionally bipolar" (in other words, being completely incapable of finding a emotional "middle path"). It illustrates the emotional ups and downs, or even upheavals we can go through.

[Davidgeo]

It can be quite destructive in a seemingly irrational way. Be careful, always wait a bit longer than the rest to react.

[Intothemilkyway]

not beyond the fire

but inside the fire, you can feel it deeply in your body how your heart beats and holds a fire inside that you can't put off.

[Davidgeo]

Never plan to stay too long in the fire.

[olla]

I am married to someone with bipolar disorder.. I was intrigued by your title..

we live in the realm of opposites so there are always lots of examples of polarities both in nature and in nature.. as with all poetry we read into it what we can identify with.. and that is true of your poem as well.. the conflict come when one can find no path to the "in between" either individually or collectively.. there is always collateral damage either way and that is the broader tragedy.. mental illness is a selfish condition.. it gives no quarter..

your poem was very good.. it can be read either way.. equally as strong..

[Davidgeo]

You're very right, mental illness is a very selfish condition. Equally as difficult, maybe a little more so, is the experience loved ones go through dealing with it. It's not hard to want to give up on certain types of people who can't help but be certain types of people. It has to be an altruistic relationship from one end sometimes. No one wants to be bipolar but, some people absolutely have no other option but to be the worst of their own symptoms sometimes. Life is unfair a lot of the time.

[R.J Calzonetti (Siniste..]

Interesting poem. I think the most interesting part of the poem were the last two lines. You wrote about light, burning, and flame. But then you ended it off with something I'd say is a great double entendre. As the fire could be the same flames you were talking about, or the afterlife. Instantly adds to the emotion of the piece. I feel like a powerful ending solidifies the poem.

And I agree. We are all too different to understand each other's worlds. But their worlds shape ours in a way. Like ripples connecting to people. And I like to think that they feel our ripples too. Just an odd idea I find myself thinking of.

[Davidgeo]

When crazy people stop being crazy people they tend to, generally, die off (usually from substance abuse and/or suicide). I shouldn't be saying this but, "keep it lit, or die" is the mantra of most functional bipolar people. It's true for everyone though, but especially for certain types. There will never be a retirement for some, they just live until they die; relentless, frightening and completely irrational at times. And that will conflict deeply with the outside world professionally and with those you care about emotionally. It's almost unfortunate that charisma comes with being emotionally unstable sometimes. It's like a clever advertisement for something normal people easily fall in love with but then, eventually, realize when they realize what they signed up for..., ha... ugh. It gets ugly and very, very tragic more often than not.