Reference Without Subject

a copy that forgot it's original

like a reference
with no subject

like an emotion

without memory

destroying the meaning
of what is the now

with the pains of the past

into a place with false purpose

like a meme
of a meme
or a self portrait
from an artist
that always was blind

yet still there is meaning
even in having no meaning

still there is meaning

and it's cheap
and it sucks
and it's real

in it's emptiness

in it's nothingness

it is as real

as you make it

it is as real

as you feel it

as it all still will hurt

even as you forget
why it all once did hurt
you just remember
that it does

and so it will

be that shape

you remember

and so it is still

oh so, so very real

like a regret

from a memory

you barely remember

so it hurts
and it hurts
though you no longer know why
anymore

just that it does

you will always remember

you will always remember

without the why
but still the pain

to hold dear
it comes now 

as something fake
yet still real

like pictures of things
you no longer remember

like emotions from events

you've long since forgotten 

beyond only the pain

beyond only the suffering

of how you once felt

of how you now feel

so it goes

and so it does

so it goes

and so it will

now all on it's own 
without a beginning
you can even remember
without an ending
you could ever predict

it's just there

like the smell of the air

like the feel of hot steel

like the bite of pure fright

this. . .

now from this. . .

comes your new reality
all as you've made it
your new simulation
of what you think you once felt
but can no longer be certain

you just know

that it hurts. . .

that it's pain

that it's hell

this pain without meaning

how we torture ourselves

in our own little hell

as our own little demons

in our own little places

we do make it

our own little hell

and so we suffer 

oh how we suffer

Author's Note

Reviews

[KWP]

This I something I think a lot about, this strain of thought. We attach instead of of observe. I drop in and out of observation. Staying in observation mode is the key, but I’m still not past the point of wallowing in emotions. I find that the learnings while there come think and fast, perhaps because I already understand the need for observation mode.

Ah, we are a bunch of simple yet self-complicating beasts.

It comes back to our own perceptions and definitions of what is right and wrong. With life in constant motion who gets to decide moral values?

[Davidgeo]

I think a lot of our emotions have become symbols of past circumstances; and as we naturally age and forget things we are only left with the feelings of that situation, but not so much the direct reasons behind that feeling. If you juxtapose that concept with human cultural evolution you come to a similar conclusion, I think. Everything we do now is a symbol of urges from, and reactions to, things and situations we can no longer remember. Biologically modern humans have been around as a species for well over 100,000 years. The moment we started forming "societies" was the moment we started to separate ourselves from the natural world. What some people mean when they say "we are living in a simulation" doesn't necessarily mean we are living in a computer based simulation... but that almost everything we feel and do now is just a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of an instinct or everyday set of circumstances that was once practically useful and relevant but has since become irrelevant to our everyday lives... and now just the feeling of that thing remains. Kinda like taking a picture of a picture so many times that it becomes something abstract, distorted and unrecognizable from the original... instead of the clarity of presence of that thing we were taking a picture of to begin with, now only the act of taking the picture truly matters. All the things you feel but can't really put into words are simulations of situations and outcomes we can no longer remember specifically.

[A Soap Mess Stories]

Raw emotions and well written...

[Stephanie]

This was very intelligently written. Logistically, I love how your words flowed together. Emotionally, it was raw. F*****g. Raw. It made me feel. And perhaps because I can currently relate to particular pieces like this. It made me hurt and it made me angry and it made me hurt and the hurt is still lingering. Thank you for combining the words to make me feel.

[h d e rushin]

When you first came here you frightened us. Like that part in Godfather 1, when Vito Corleone pulls the
sheet off of Sony to show the undertaker how his son was butchered. What I mean is that it was a fright that we all had anticipated. Not conventional. Never subtle like most poetry of the 21st century. But more a Shakti, cosmic energy conceived within poetic though. You write with more depth, (yeah, what does that mean dana) instead of deciding on some boisterous dance around the faintly clinical. Pontification is the punch line of poetry writing who's humor lies in the pointlessness or irrelevance of the punch line itself. I've done it a thousand times. I've been pathetic andTrust me, no one cares. But still within the relationship of the poet and the reader there must be a sort of agreement. NO. not where there's hand clasping and singing. But an agreement to be tested. I agree and I accept to this type of bountiful Dave poetry. It's fantastic....dana

[Davidgeo]

If a poorly tempered donkey with a substance abuse problem, angry arthritis and a devious but affectionate exotic pet cat could articulate words in the English language I would probably be very good friends with that donkey.

[Dara]

it's just there
like the smell of the air
like the feel of hot steel
like the bite of pure fright

I have experienced depression, not often but when it hits, it is so hard to explain to someone else, especially if they have never felt it themselves. Your words put it all together so well making the reader almost feel the emotions that are so strong yet so difficult to describe. Another deep and very poignant write!

[Edie Blue Starfish]

Sometimes you become conditioned to think or feel a certain way but can't remember why.
Like habit. Like going through the motions and displaying the emotions.

[Davidgeo]

Sometimes only the bad parts remain... sometimes only the good. Time betrays true meaning for all of it. Thanks for your review.

[Edie Blue Starfish]

Welcome :)

[WillaDanvers]

I really like the words and the emotion written into this, but the difference of stanzas really distracts me... I get that it helps with the confusion of emotions but it's really distracting for the readers :)

[Davidgeo]

Thanks. I kinda agree with you on the spacing, I may change that a little later.