try harder, hide nothing

break, everything

hands made for weapons

a culture made of f...

    uck all

and nothing
not a thing 

can stop me now

from this

my rage 

"justice"

my monster

you let me violate you 

with interest

you made every part of me

intellectual 

wanting 

indifference 

validated 

 precious 

a darling

a siren

and so it/

breaks

...

again

upon your focus 

again

to pieces

this is us

that was then

we are monsters

so it goes

you are this

we never were not

as i sell me to you
and you to me

discounted 

again

and again

my dear,

we share

f*****g

   everything...

 in a circle

of f*****g

redundancy

over and over

you and I

together

misery with makeup

a life 

a sentence

as one

together

the same

… f*****g invincible

and condemned 

we are this

and this is us

so let us make god

from this

what is left

let us. . .
find our everything
in the noise

(as above)

where we can say anything

anything

(so below)

before this is hell

let us make a life

as a love song

( unrequited )

fully lived

before it's taken

because there is no heaven

       not for us

not for us...

as above,

so below

and so it goes

Author's Note

"... the more you deny it's presence the more powerful it gets, and the more likely it is to consume you entirely without you ever even knowing it was there..."

Reviews

[KWP]

you the darkness to my light :)

this one is like a slap to the face demanding us all to think. and does it matter there is no heaven ... that thought right there is worth at least a days worth of pondering me thinks.

within the grittiness of this one is the stark reality west easily create - day by day a battle - and for what?

It is reminding me to celebrate the here the now and the moments filled with each and every when and how ... it's hard but its not something we can run from X

[Alexa Nichols]

This is not the type of poem I usually gravitate to, but I found myself really liking it anyway. The way it's laid out, the words you chose... love it. 💖

[Davidgeo]

I almost forgot about this one even though it was kinda sorta relatively recent. I never edited this one... I just let it ride as it was. It doesn't surprise me that you enjoy this even though it's not your type. If you had to choose, would you pick Corey Chase, Molly Jane or Melanie Hicks?

[Alexa Nichols]

...I actually had to look those names up. I thought you were referencing literary people, but you asked me about porn stars?? How does that have anything to do with this site or your poem? 🤔

[Davidgeo]

That was easy. In this poem that you claim to enjoy is the line....
"where we can say anything". For a self proclaimed 'lover of all things sexual' you seem uncharacteristically put off by general references to it. Which is pretty much the norm for people on that topic these days - too many are more interested in appearing to be something than actually being that thing. Which is pretty much the norm for people on that topic these days - there is an generation more interested in appearing to be something than actually being that thing. Your cliched profile bio written in the 'standard for cringe' 3rd person led me to try and see where you really stand on that topic. It was supposed to be harder and take a little longer but its already pretty clear you're not what you portray yourself as.

[Alexa Nichols]

1. Your reasoning/justification for the sudden inappropriate conversation shift is lame, and a far reach at best. I've encountered your type online (and only online) on an almost daily basis - people who become emboldened by their digital anonymity and write things they would never say in real life. Especially to the opposite sex. Which is sad, but typical nowadays.
2. Did you look at my profile just to critique it? 😅 Why? I have never, in my entire time on this site, looked at anyone's profile. I'm more interested in their works. Isn't that what this community is supposed to be about? Maybe I'm wrong.
3. I love sex. I did not, however, create a profile on this site to start talking with people about porn stars. 🙄 There are times and places for everything. I don't go to the supermarket to talk about blowjob techniques, either - especially not with complete strangers. Social boundaries exist for a reason.
4. Be careful what you assume about someone in the digital landscape. I know adult actors in real life (even on social media, which I usually don't consider *real life*), and have absolutely nothing against the industry. Like I wrote above, however: there is a time and place to talk about everything. Your comment could have been a private message to me, and I would have responded much more favorably.
5. I only comment on works people have requested my feedback on. I don't surf the site looking to start trouble. I have better things to do with my time. So, in the future, do not request my feedback. Thanks! ✋

[Spookers]

I feel like I keep repeating myself, but I just love the way you layout your poems. This one feels broken and jagged, making the words feel gritty and raw.

[Zhavy]

Really like the formatting of this, great job with the flow.

[John the Baptist]

The speaker in this offering might be either John Milton's Lucifer or Kurt Vonnegut's Billy Pilgrim. The anger and vengefulness of the former and the hopelessness of the latter are both present. It comes across as a kind of nihilistic love poem addressed to some non-specified other, whom the speaker is trying to entice into sharing his dark world. It's like an offer to agree to making the best of hell. Bitter stuff, but well written. Liked the spare delivery.

[Davidgeo]

Good eye. More John than Kurt for this one.

As a mildly relevant aside, my one true wish in life is to become "unstuck in time".

[MOON]

Poignant , the human condition, life is no fairytale.