You and Me and Big Sur

i would dance you
into a billion smashed little pieces

with grace and with vigor

into a very fine dust

what used to be you

in a delicate tissue

is where i'd put you

is where i'd keep you

in a very expensive bucket

i'd put that tissue

and i would carry you
with me very cheaply

to big sur where there's beauty 

indifferent to our ugly

and i would sing to your dust

tributes and eulogies 

out of tune out of key

and we would swim together

down the cuyama river

one last time

until we both turned to mud

and fell in love once again

back where we began. . .

Author's Note

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

I don't know the Big Sur, but if that is your posted image, it looks incredibly beautiful and I can understand its appeal. Your lines gave me vivid imagery of cremated remains being scattered in a river. I also picked up on a turbulent relationship here, one of both intense love as well as hate. I listened to your Leonard Cohen video, I am a fan and he was a great poet in my opinion. I am left thinking this is a love poem, but there again I thought that's not your usual style, so who knows. Your first three opening lines, very strong.

Chris

[Davidgeo]

Thanks doll face.

This is indeed a love poem.

Are you a fan of Jack Kerouac by any chance? The structure of this was heavily influenced by him. Not the lovey dovey bullshit though, that's all mine unfortunately.

Thanks for stopping by... I know how much you do not like read requests.

[Chris Shaw]

Nope, don't know him, other than his name being familiar so I wouldn't have picked up on his influence. Enjoy your evening, and that weed if you have it for company. Back to sleep for me now. An insomniac.

[Davidgeo]

Sleep tight... if you can.

[Alexa Nichols]

Interesting. I like it. A bit weird, but that's never a bad thing! 😅

[RayLynn]

This is beautiful
Really great job with this!

[Cobblestone Traveler]

This is so deliciously dark and sweet. The image of a person so madly in love and torment that they joined their love in the water to be with them again...so tragically beautiful.

[Anu Soneye]

This is touching sad and at the same time lovely. A juice mix of love and sadness. Good poetry I call it.

[Davidgeo]

Thank you Anu. That's very kind of you to say. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[LazerRays]

"I would dance you into a billion smashed little pieces" haha- so romantic Dave XD
real charmer :)
I love that line because
A) it made me laugh (don't ask I'm in a morbid mood)
B) it's great in detail. It's like a mix of threatinging but at the same time lovey. It reminded me of a dark violent type of dancing. Ad then you pulled that line together into you both turning into mud and falling in love. Sounds like a twisted Alfred hitchcock romance novel haha- I really like.

[KWP]

oh yeah - I love this - how good :)

whats going on man - this is uplifting and rather awesome?

not a very creative review - but, I am smashed - so what to do? (as in super tired - not alcohol)

[Davidgeo]

Why thank you. And don't worry, creative reviews are overrated anyway. What I wanna know is who down voted that review. I guess you were being too nice... don't you know that I'm the resident pariah here? You're not supposed to be nice to me, that's very offensive to some people here.

[KWP]

haha someone took the time to rate my review ... now that's a hilarious way to waste a little touch of existence :D XXX

[Davidgeo]

they should try masturbating more

[KWP]

Hahah that’s what I tell people 😂😂😂

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

this i love and i have been a fan of cohen for many years since my teenage years. he was brilliant and his poems and songs live on
this poem is showing a softer more romantic side to you.
i liked it a lot thats the truth