This Doesn't Count

I'm not that clever on purpose but sometimes... sometimes... (i'm just a moron) fu

if i give you regina spektor

on vinyl 

david foster wallace 

on paper

and my depression

 together 

   in a brightly lit room

  with drugs

 paper tigers

and a lack of responsibility

next to a large catalogue of pretensions

and paper enemies

born from silly fantasies 

and a*****e tendencies 

     . . .                         

     you'd think you were a writer too,

  and your superego would whisper to you,

            something like -

what a "magical kingdom"....

      you've made tonight

       with your writing. . .

tell me a story

                         because life is f*****g boring  

and you promised to not be an a*****e

              tonight

              (david)

Author's Note

I like to love things at their worst. That is where real is irrefutable.

Reviews

[Relic]

I fell asleep to Regina one night at the end of a party. I asked the girl "who that was last night on the cd. That girl with the nice voice."

I think we set our moods by what we hear before writing. I myself, see images a lot. And I don't even take drugs. lol

Wallace was intelligent as hell.

This is a cool poem, D.

100/100

[Davidgeo]

Now that's pretty funny. And totally accurate.

Have you been drinking Tim? It kinda seems like you've been drinking tonight Tim.

[Relic]

lol no, not a drop. I had green tea a little while ago, I swear. :)

[Davidgeo]

Ah, our reindeer games are highly amusing. Have you ever tried to hunt elk in Alaska?

[Relic]

No but chased a squirrel down my driveway once.

[Davidgeo]

Squirrels are no joke. Those clever little b******s can rotate all four of their "wrist's" 360 degrees. It's why they are so adept at climbing trees and stealing nuts.

[Relic]

I used to feed one from my lap. His claws were quite uncomfortable, especially when I would stand up to go. He would climb my leg. OW!

[Davidgeo]

Ah. . . You are easily one of the best people here. I'll talk about squirrels with you any day.

[Relic]

haha. :) Just by coincidence, there are mixed nuts in front of me. Don't tell any squirrels.

[Davidgeo]

Your secret is safe with me my friend.

[angel]

Tell you a story...hmmmmm.
Is it a story if it's true? Cos this is.
A few years ago, I got a bad infection, which resulted in the amputation of my left leg. The doctors put me on painkillers, but, as you may be aware, they won't prescribe them for more than a few weeks.
This was not long enough; amputations hurt (a lot) for a much longer time than that.
I was on oxycontin. This, at the time, cost about $20 per (20mg) pill on the street.
Heroin, however, was going for $5 a bag, and I could use a bag to equal the pain relief of the oxys. Now, the heroin was not as long lasting; I had to do it again in 4-6 hours, but that still put me at $15 per day, so heroin it was.
I had to find a ride to Hartford to get it, a couple bundles a week. I went through close to a whole stack every month.
I am assuming you know how much that is.
Anyhow, after about 6 months went by, the pain was a lot less.
I had another problem, now.
I was hooked on the heroin. I couldn't quit!
Finally, I mentioned my problem to someone I trusted, and he told me about suboxone.
A strip of this cost $15, and lasted for about 24 hours.
Problem: I couldn't stop taking THAT! I began to cut the dosage, snipping the strips into pieces, tapering the dose down until, about 6 months later, I stopped the subs.
Now, all there was to deal with was the restless legs.
It's still with me, but is able to be controlled with Lyrica and some weed, which I used anyway.
That's my story, and I don't care who knows it, so I'm telling it to you.

[Ookpik]

Left arm disarticulation, lost it about six years ago and pulled myself off the opiates within a week for this very reason. Lost a God-Father to heroin and maintained a distaste for gabapentin/lyrica knowing reliance on meds can do a lot of damage.
Oxy caught a friend of mine out of Connecticut too. I know I'm lucky that I avoided pills but I go through a fifth of hard-bar every couple days.

You have my respect and I appreciate the kind of pain your talking about. It's f*****g relentless and I fully understand how one thing leads to another.

My "amp" story is listed as "memories don't need titles" under my page but don't feel obligated to read. Thank you for sharing and I'll keep an eye on your work.

-Ook

[Davidgeo]

Now that's a good story.

And of course it's still a story if it's true. I like to call them, "true stories".

[Davidgeo]

(good work getting through and off the addiction train by the way)

[angel]

Yeah, glad to have gotten through it in one piece; well, guess I can't really say that, being short a leg, but I'm alive and that's the main thing.
See, the phrase TRUE STORIES is sort of a funny one, for me.
I used to write for this women's magazine called True Stories, and the stuff I wrote for them was total BS and fiction.
My medical nightmares, I think of them more as 'accounts' than stories. Next time you want to hear something, maybe I'll tell you about how I used to wear a 44DD bra, and now need none at all, thanks to a double radical mastectomy.No more b***s, but here I am, still alive!

[Davidgeo]

You're a strange bird.

[AYVID N]

It’s tough to write on most days, I being my worst critic and hater. In fact, I cannot write effectively unless swayed by powerful emotions. That then is my stimulant, my drug. And my failing. It makes me sad...is it so tough to be a natural writer..? Really hard hitting, the way you put it.

[Davidgeo]

I always wondered why you bothered with me.

[AYVID N]

That is different subject altogether. I’ve tried but sadly couldn’t convince you fully :)

[Davidgeo]

Don't feel bad, I'm preternaturally hard to convince of things. I think I watched too much of the X Files growing up.

[Davidgeo]

(or I'm just a dick)

[AYVID N]

Actually I don’t. A Dick or a Doubter, all have a right to not be convinced. I too am kind of weird. So it evens out :)

[Davidgeo]

Fair enough. I do still love 1990's David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson. Convinced or not, it's damn fine television.