Numb

if you can't feel the pain
you can't feel anything
and all the pleasure in the world
becomes quite lost
very very far out to sea
in the vastness of an ocean
called 'whatever forever'

if you can't feel the pain
all the happiness in the world turns to fuzzy static
and all entertainment becomes. . . just another broke down tv

as the good times lose their meaning

without one thing in comparison 
every single damn thing turns to nothing

the sadness and the gladness and every single thing in the in betweens
becomes one great giant, big-fat, incredibly worthless 'not a thing'

when you can't feel anything
everything becomes exactly the same
and out of all of it

       is only more nothing 
that always and every single time

     feels exactly the f*****g same

     much like the empty

without color

without feeling

without flavor 
            like you ain't even here

            there

     or really anywhere

for anybody

for anything

                  you are no one

as absolutely nothing

                  you are not anything 

when you can't feel a thing

Author's Note

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

I've always believed that unless you have experienced real pain, you wouldn't be able to recognise true happiness. Your final stanza, so true, when you can't feel anything at all, everything is the same. I would rather feel pain, than nothing at all. Great poem David.

Didn't look at the image until afterwards. I love it.

Chris

[Davidgeo]

Unfortunately the essence of this is based on the psychological rationalizations behind self harm. Even though I can understand why they do it I still can't really grasp how one could come to actualize that behavior in reality.

Whenever I feel severely frustrated, angry, or physically hurt I always think about people who cut themselves... I'll feel my pain rationally over irrationally any day of the week.

[Chris Shaw]

When I read this, I was thinking more along the lines of depression rather than those who self harm. I could never understand why people would want to hurt themselves, until I spoke to some young people who did it. They told me that the pain stopped when they hurt themselves. The inner pain was far worse than any pain they inflicted on themselves. It was a form of release.

[Davidgeo]

There's a lot of reasons. Some hurt themselves to feel something other than what reality has to offer them, to have some control. Others hurt themselves just to feel something. My experience is those who deal with the latter method. I tried to make it ambiguous in the poem but that's where it came from.

[Chris Shaw]

Your readers will always find their own interpretation. Your words will speak to people in different ways.

[Davidgeo]

I hope that's a good thing.

[Chris Shaw]

Without doubt it is a good thing.

[Davidgeo]

I tend to agree.

You're way too nice to me.

Or maybe I'm just used to people being mean to me.

[AYVID N]

well how dare they :)
idiots!

[Chris Shaw]

I am what I am. I try hard to treat others the way I wish to be treated myself :)

[AYVID N]

You're awesome to everyone Chris. This website has gained a lovely person and a writer, in yiu ⚘

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you DIVYA :))

[Matt]

Great words. I to write of pain. Great outlet....

[R. Schreiber]

Beautiful piece. How do you feel love without knowing pain? This made me think about how you can grow so used to pain and the sorrow life can bring that you just become numb to it. To cope with the fact that some things may never change. And everything becomes meaningless and all the memories remain just that. Things of the past that you can no longer feel or relive. Yet some way, some how, happiness and love can come into your life. And you grow to appreciate it immensely, because you know what it's like to not feel. And how terribly empty you are when you're numb to it all.

You've managed to put into perfect words how everyone at some point in their lives feels. At some point everyone feels this exact thing and you've described how when you're numb you're nothing. Because there's nothing there anymore and no one sees you. Almost as if you don't even exist.

Very Nice work!

[Davidgeo]

Thanks. That was a very good review... I appreciate it.

[Yari Garcia]

So much wisdom in this poem! I really loved the passion and the message behind it.

I gotta ask, though, why the photo? x-) Was it random or picked for a reason?

Great work,
Yari

[Davidgeo]

Thanks for liking my poem.

No, the picture's not random. But I'd like to keep the reason to myself.

[Rosilina]

I like your piece very much, its more similar to my life

[Ghania]

The pain, the agony, the greater we feel it, the more we learn. And the more we know. And the more we get to feel, what's around us.
Love this piece of yours.

[Davidgeo]

I'm very glad you enjoyed it. Feeling is almost an infinite spectrum of intense pleasure, pain and everything in between. Every part of it has something to offer for the good or the bad. The trick is to not focus on just one part of that spectrum too much, which is a lot easier said than done.

[Ghania]

oh wow! Inspiring words, really! More Power to you. :)

[Ms Paragon]

Feeling all the feels, bad or good, in all their intensity, makes life woth living! Well written!

[Davidgeo]

Thanks. And I tend to agree with exactly what you said.

[Ms Paragon]

You're welcome!

[AYVID N]

Pleasure and pain...one can't be alive to one while staying dead to another. This is so true. There may even be scientific backing for this as in human brain physiology.

Yet your poetic voice is to die for here, especially the first verse and then the conclusion. It's like you whispering your belief, over and over, softly yet with such conviction.

An amazing poem, anyway one looks at it, David ⚘

[Davidgeo]

You're way too nice to me sometimes. I always appreciate that. You're good people Divya… I'm very glad to know you.

[AYVID N]

Same here David :)

[Relic]

Your poem is written in the form of one who suggests that pain is the antidote to happiness. For one interpretation, I've seen too many people on this site over the years--mostly females, who've been raped or abused in some way, and who believe cutting is the key to change in their damaged lives. Or in other words a convenient distraction from whatever it is that plagues them. Ironically, I'm sure if you look back far enough through history you'll discover that there were many who believed that draining blood was a way to release diseases. (and possibly demons).

Another interpretation is simple. The agony felt after a boyfriend or girlfriend has parted ways. The heart becomes so heavy, so dark, it's as though all feeling has drained away until there's nothing left but a 'numb' feeling.

Friends become an annoyance. Relatives a pain. Entertainment useless.

And of course, another interpretation is unhappiness over whatever bad thing they saw or experienced when they were young. Maybe something they had no control over. Or maybe they did but did nothing about it. Therefore, somewhere in their thought processes, they're regaining control in their own way.

I'm not a psychologist so I may be wrong on all counts but that's my two cents.

An interesting poem, David.

PS, good song.

[Davidgeo]

(be sure to read this to the end) Pain is not the antidote to happiness, that's not what I'm trying to say... I'm proposing that if you don't feel pain or you inherently avoid pain one cannot truly know what happiness really is.

Ice cream is sweeter when you don't eat it everyday, wine feels better if you don't drink it everyday, exotic places are only exotic if you don't live there everyday... etc, etc

Bloodletting is an archaic thing and not a legit take on the concept I was writing about; I think brining that up is not apt and kind of a straw man comparison.

It's also kind of strange that you'd bring up boyfriend-girlfriend relations. Are you a teenager or just trying to pander to them? You really had to stretch to include that as that poem just doesn't have anything to do with that.

You're projecting very creepy things on this. If I didn't know you to be a grown a*s man I'd ignore it, but, damn Tim... you're kinda creepy.

None the less I'm glad you reviewed this. I'd like to let our old grudges go. We've both treated each other unfairly in the past. I am as much to blame for that s**t as you are.

Sorry I couldn't be more positive in response to your review, but, I gotta be honest. No offense to you. (stop being passive aggressive please)

[Relic]

Like I said, I may be wrong on all counts. I've been called lots of things but never creepy. I'm fine with that. :) Thanks for the reply.

[Davidgeo]

Fair enough. Thanks for your extensively thought out review. I guess I'll see you around the café in the near future. Be well my 'not exactly but close enough anyway' friend.

[Relic]

.................... :)

[Davidgeo]

That Roy Orbison song is pretty awesome. I will never have a problem with your taste in music.

[Relic]

I used to learn his songs on guitar. He's got easy chord structures although some are a little tricky.

[Davidgeo]

You'll have to tell me about your musician life. I've always been interested in what it takes to play an instrument with skill. I can play a little piano but it's all from memory... I can't read sheet music. That s**t's greek to me.

[Relic]

Drums-48 years. Guitar-about 30. I played piano for years but got bored with it. Opened for Kansas, Marshall Tucher Band (3 times) The Outlaws (3 times) Foghat (3 times) Johnny Paycheck, David allan Coe, Toy Caldwell (nice guy, died two weeks after I talked to him). Leslie West, Mr. Jiggs the chimp (My first show at 8 years old. Many others...

[Davidgeo]

Well then, that's a helluva resume.

[Ace Jaxon]

Well said, this is a beautiful way of explaining I'm not sleepy, but I'm tired. I loved the last stanza because indeed when you feel nothing all you feel is the same, and everything becomes absolutely nothing.

[Davidgeo]

Ah, yes... the insomnia angle definitely plays well with this; nice observation. If you're a sociology fan think of the term 'anomie' in regards to that poem. Normlessness is another way of looking at it.

[Ace Jaxon]

Ah, i see.

[Richard McLin]

Loved the middle stanza, how it all becomes a broken tv. Great piece.
-Richard

[Davidgeo]

Thanks Richard. I hate broken televisions.