Arrested Development

i am in a state of arrested development
a man child, a baby man, purely a detriment
to most everything around me. . .
i am this pestilential malignancy 
so arrogant for no reason
a brilliant testament to unreason

always an antecedent to high treason

always, always and eventually 

i am a cancer to most every situation

from a state of arrested development
perverting all my good judgement
morally and artistically i am decadent
and mindlessly self indulgent
pessimistic and pathetically arrogant
i can feel the breeze of my peers
passing me by day by day 

progressing their life unafraid

turning these lemons into sweet lemonade
still i hesitate everyday and remain
surrounded by all of this

none the less...

     at the end of the day so alone

by myself, all alone 

in the familiar mundane

unafraid of going nowhere

in a state of arrested development

terrified of this growing possibility 

that there just. . . isn't that much to me

as i slowly die. . . empty 

and alone

                        so very forgotten

like i was never here

         like this never happened 

Author's Note

Reviews

[pia]

this was very well written.
loved the emotions i felt through your lines.
what I deduce from this poem is a person who not many understand, or people are just too quick to judge. this person thinks he or she is an a*s or something but maybe its a reaction to a personal issue or an internal storm.
I really liked this poem. wonderful use of vocab

[Davidgeo]

I'm glad you enjoyed it. Emoting on a personal level was my intention here so you felt what I wanted you to feel, more or less. Yay! I was kinda worried I'd f**k this one up and just sound silly.

Thanks again for taking the time to read me Pia. I'll return the favor sooner than later.

[pia]

you nailed it
so be proud of yourself !!!

[Davidgeo]

Pride is what got me into this mess to begin with damn it!

Ha...ah, if you can't make fun of yourself you're kind of a d********g no matter what's going on... thanks again. You're very sweet pia.

[Gee]

Far, far to harsh on yourself young fella. Pity you can't see yourself through the eyes of others.
Tell you what, you sure have got this writing malarkey nailed...
Hope you are well David

[Davidgeo]

I'm probably too easy on myself. I would love to have beer and shoot some pool with you. You'd be both impressed and disgusted at the same time.

[Gee]

Sounds like good night out to me ..

[Gee]

Hmmmmm, the "a" seems to have gone awol..

[Davidgeo]

Don't fret, it happens to the best of us. Typos put hair on your chest.

I do love to stroke the cue. I have an unhealthy infatuation with Allison Fisher. One day, i'll trick her into banging me... one day

[The Indifferent Strange..]

I loved this. It had a varied vocabulary (which I personally always enjoy) and was very passionate. I could feel that, especially because I have felt that exact same feeling. You think you've got your problems figured out, but little do you know until everything comes crashing down around you like brimstone. We just gotta stand up again, look into the face of life, and keep a positive outlook. And when we get into those irrational funks, we gotta keep asking ourselves "Why?" until we get to the root of our problems. Great poem.

[AYVID N]

I don't know why this poem brought to my mind premature babies. Severely premature babies are expelled very rudely out of the womb before they've developed enough skin, flesh, nerves enough everything (I have one) Its amazing how, given the right milieu, they transform into smooth human babies, just as they would inside the womb. So there's hope if it is not a still birth. The poet here is not stillborn. On the other hand, he is so alive, he can feel the rawness and pain of life in every cell in him. He may like to dismiss himself as lost and dying but he actually has a lot of clarity on things and knows he has the options that his peers had.

Had I been there I would smite every thought that hurteth thee and batters thy faith in thyself (with my chapati rolling pin) Omg. I'm so pathetic at classical poetry. ⚘

[Davidgeo]

Not everyone gets the chance to develop 'normally'. The end product of that is not always easy to reconcile in a world of normalcy. What survives in spite of that, however, can be even more wonderful in a way no one could ever see coming... but it must be nurtured differently; and that is never easy and often perilous.

You're an excellent mother, that's plain to see.

And yes, you are a dork-nerd for the classical poetry. But it could be worse. Have you ever seen Star Wars? (they are the worst fans)

[AYVID N]

Just like you (though to me your persona seems a bit larger than life) , I'm many things unexpected and delightful and an equal number of things utterly disagreeable. Its all about helping one another to let go of what hurt. Its not easy, but very healing.

Thank you for not finding my classical poetry that bad. I'll try some more lol.

I have to see Star Wars.

[AYVID N]

I've never met a more well read and informed man than you. You can take it as a compliment if you wish. I work in the top oil company in my country and I've seen a few. Just saying.

[Gee]

Ahem.........................yeah right.
He is good, really good.

[Davidgeo]

What gee said in his sarcasm is probably the more apt response to me and my bullshit ... (cough-cough gofuckyourself gee)

I used to work for the top military in the world. My being well read was then, and is now, just a gimmick. I'm not that intelligent, I stand on other's shoulders. Perception will take you far I always say.

[AYVID N]

I get that.....

[Davidgeo]

I still love the compliment you just gave me (an hour ago). Tonight I will feel a little better about myself, warranted or not. that is real. And that is all your fault. I thank you kindly... you give me a confidence I don't normally have. That is something special. 100 years can go by, I will never forget that.

[AYVID N]

.....................

[AYVID N]

means more than i can say........

[Davidgeo]

You don't need to say a word. I understand.

[KWP]

well I’d like to jump in here and and say I am a big fan of GEE for his sense of humour and good old brattish ways ... yeah ... I have no other feathers to stroke ... :D

[Gee]

Yeahhhhhhhhh, I think I'm in love xxx Shall we elope and have little KWP ettes ?? C'mon, just pack a pair of clean undies and we're off :))

[KWP]

on my way sunshine - can we go to Devon and have some tea & scones ???

[Davidgeo]

It's like a damn hippie love fest up in this thread. If I were to say that about a comment section of one of my poems even just a few weeks ago no one would believe me. That tickles me fancy quite a bit in this moment.

[KWP]

hahahahahahahahahaha ... now pass that point my hippie friend and peace man !!!

[Gee]

Well slap my arse through John Lennons kaftan,
ride me like an old bike, then join me to count unicorns and flying pigs......this to be followed by a Dorset cream tea taken on a vintage steam train ride through verdant, rolling hills :)

[Davidgeo]

God damn foreigners and your lingo... I'm an American damn it - we're all far, far too intellectually lazy to figure that kind of s**t out on our own. Tom Brady doesn't play soccer.

[Davidgeo]

… he plays football.

[Gee]

Oh contraire, mon frere. Football was invented in this country whilst yours was still in its infancy, and the land ( until taken) the native Indians by right.
It has been said, not by me I might add, we have in our museums underwear that predates your fine country.
Anyway, good morning, evening, David, hope you are enjoying Friday.

[Gee]

Au.....Jeez I'm s**t at this

[Gee]

Oops...1863, that's when the " beautiful game" was invented

[Davidgeo]

I was being ironical gee...of course I know all that stuff (it's world cup time, I couldn't resist bustin' your balls if only sarcastically). More seriously, what we all call American football is really just a rip off of rugby. But if you really wanna get old school... you damn Europeans kind of ripped of the Mesoamerican ball game, which came about around 1400 ad or so.

[Gee]

I should be known better than to try and out do the un outdoable. That's me put back in my place.read moreI should be known better than to try and out do the un outdoable. That's me put back in my place.
Got to say David, am enjoying reading the exchanges you're having over the last couple of days with the different bods here. Good fayre.

[KWP]

I believe that Aussie Aboriginals are the oldest civilisation ... I reckon they invented ball games some forty odd thousand years ago

[Gee]

Nope. I do believe a rare breed of English dinosaur, the little known GEEOSAURUS, reputedly played both tennis and crown green bowls......could be wrong though.
Good morning wifey !!

[Davidgeo]

Africa baby... neither of our continents invented any of these games. In or around the Olduvai gorge I bet they were playing games with things even then (80+ thousand years ago, at the very least).
One day we should all meet up around Chauvet Cave and play table tennis on a small raft directly underneath Pont d' Arc. We'd get arrested in about ten seconds but it would be a legendary match none the less.

[Gee]

OR, we could play darts and drink lager and makers mark whisky, in the shed at the bottom of my garden !!

[Davidgeo]

Makers Mark is overrated (it's still delicious though). Bust out a bottle of Talisker 10 year old and I'll play almost any game with you.

[Gee]

Will have to try that

[Davidgeo]

You'll find it quite appealing I do promise. It's one of the foundations of any good blended scotch whiskey. Johnnie Walker of almost any label doesn't exist without it. You should even be able to get it at a reasonable price given your geographic location. There's this fantastic Scottish fellow named Ralfy Mitchell, he has a youtube channel (ralfydotcom) dedicated to reviewing fine scotch and such... it's where I learn about the fancy stuff without having to waste s**t tons of money. He's good people, all the way around.

[Chris Shaw]

A brilliant bit of writing here, but oh my, so harsh to read. I have read your response to Pia and you have said that your intention was to emote on a personal level. What came across to me is a highly intelligent, articulate individual, who doesn't like himself at all, and more than that, I felt the emptiness and loneliness bleeding through. Is that what you were attempting to achieve? If so, then you have succeeded. There were four lines which are memorable, commencing with "I can feel the breeze of my peers". Was it enjoyable reading? No, it wasn't but it was an excellent piece of writing.

Chris

[Davidgeo]

That's a pretty astute review.

I'd go on but you seem to grasp things quite perfectly already.

It's always nice to read your reviews Chris. Thanks for stopping by.

[Chris Shaw]

Now write one with a bit of positivity in it, just to keep things balanced ;)

[Davidgeo]

That's good advice. Perhaps I'll have to follow it if I can. This might sound a little paradoxical, but, when I write negative self reflective things I feel happier and more myself afterwards. Writing is my catharsis, it is my therapy.

[Chris Shaw]

Well do whatever you've got to do, providing it makes you feel better. You have to learn to love yourself before you can love others. Writing is a therapy for many of us.

[Davidgeo]

That's even better advice.

Just don't give it to a serial killer if you can help it. In regards to some people, doing what makes them feel better is horrifically counter productive.

(i promise i'm not a serial killer)

[Chris Shaw]

Ha ha, I don't give advice to serial killers ;))

[Davidgeo]

… that you know of. ;)

[Chris Shaw]

;)) .................