Confessions of a Tortured Logic

If I were an interrogator, I think I'd be very good at my job

how are we to stand our ground

over time
increasingly weakened
as we age 
under the weight of all our mistakes

drowning in things
like accumulated disappointments

a slow death

for all

a slow death

for everyone

eventually

when the people that you love are still alive
but your drive and your passion

have long since died

how will you stand your ground?

when all satisfaction

becomes denatured  

all your gifts weathered 

on their way to nothing

forever and ever

as everything withers away 

into nothing, eventually

always and anyway

into ashes into earth

always eventually

no matter what we do

no matter what we've done

that is our everything

every time 

for everyone

every single time

always and eventually 

this is all our fate

how then are we to stand our ground
when the end is right there

but the here is still now

painfully right now

the more you remember 'happy'

the more you will regret

the very tools you saw life with

that say...

the end is always right there

that nothing is permanent 

nothing is permanent

that every single day

is only here to decay

into darkness

so just confess to me

everything

to all the things that I say 

    and let us just get on with it

to your ending

my dear friend I promise

this will never get easier

my dear friend I promise

that that day...

    was only yesterday

and it will never come back

not ever

so just confess to me

and it will make everything

so much easier  

(for me)

for you

for your loved ones

my dear friend 

confess everything

(to me)

so you may be free

to die quickly

Author's Note

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

Hang on there, tortured logic indeed from someone who is living in hell, regardless of what they might have done in life. I thought, no way am I going to be weakened by age, no way. I've made plenty of mistakes, but hey you learn from them, you don't wallow in them and drown and everybody is beset by disappointments. You deal with it. What you did was take me on a journey to come to the conclusion that, I'm pretty balanced, but of course, you are writing about those who aren't. Those who are drowning in their own negativity and there is plenty of it in your lines. So no confessions from me. This is a good read. I'm not sure I would want to be interrogated by you though.

[Davidgeo]

I've just finished reading "The Gulag Archipelago" a few days ago. It's not about inherently unbalanced people, it's about regular people under extreme duress who are powerless to change their situation due to an extreme state sponsored political ideology. This was a reality for millions and millions of Russians under Joseph Stalin's communistic state... and it was all rationalized as a necessary evil for the good of the nation. The sentiment at all levels of government at that time was this -- "There will be some innocent victims in this fight against Fascist agents. We are launching a major attack on the Enemy; let there be no resentment if we bump someone with an elbow. Better that ten innocent people should suffer than one spy get away. When you chop wood, chips fly." -Nioklai Yezhov

That is what happens under socialism/communism... complete dehumanization for the "greater good". And the USSR was the most "successful" attempt at that form of government. North Korea's people are under the very same ideology right now. And there are still millions of people in America today (usually 18 and 19 year old college kids) who think state sponsored collectivism is a good idea that will benefit humanity. At no time in history has anything other then an eventual complete dehumanization resulted from that political ideology.

[Chris Shaw]

You are much too intellectual with your poetry for me (lol). Not having read this book, but I found your response very interesting. I am happy to continue to post my far off the mark responses, if you can tolerate them. Maybe one day we may meet in the middle.

[Davidgeo]

It's all good.... I'm kind of a dick hole anyway so my tolerance is kind of irrelevant. Post away as you see fit.

That f*****g book was extremely hard to read... not because it's intellectually impenetrable but because of the moral disgust I felt during the entire time I was reading it. Only when I read about serial killers or child rapists have I felt that kind of disgust. If you don't want put yourself in a s****y mood for like, a month, never read that book. Nazi Germany was morally evil but Soviet Russia was ideologically evil and carried on for a far longer stretch of time. Compared to the millions and millions and even more millions that died directly due the implementation of that political ideology Hitler was kind of an amateur. It was the Russian NKVD (secret police) that invented mobile "gas vans" to execute dissidents ... and this was in the mid 1930's, a half a decade before Germany even started their "final solution".

I think I need to increase my substance abuses for at least the next two weeks to get that truly awful taste out of my brain.

[Chris Shaw]

Pour us out a drink. Your reading stuff is much too hard for me lol

[Davidgeo]

Scotch whiskey for everybody!!

[Chris Shaw]

Cheers. Have a good week-end.

[Davidgeo]

You too Christine... thanks for reading.

[LKBillips]

Not my fate. :) Failures are just stepping stones to success. If you never fail the victory is not as sweet.

[Davidgeo]

That's the spirit! You have a good outlook on life. I like it.

[Nipplegrinder]

This is so good. You really hit it out of the park on this. Truly a great read, mang.

[Davidgeo]

Thanks nips. I remember wanting to edit this down a bit but by the time I got back to it I kinda lost the creative flavor. It makes me happy to know it doesn't suck regardless of that.

[Norah]

These lines hit me so hard like no lines ever did before;
"how are we to stand our ground
over time
increasingly weakened
as we age
under the weight of all our mistakes
drowning in things
like accumulated disappointments"
Your words are so true and meaningful, they make me want to stop questioning cause everything is answered in a simple way yet I cant see it. It is a poem I know I will be re-reading always. Would love getting more read requests!

[Davidgeo]

Why would you love getting more read requests? So you can re-quote the first few lines, then provide generic compliments so you can then pretend to have read the whole thing? Nah.... thanks anyway. If you're going to leave a fake review you might wanna stay away from the over the top praise.... it's kind of a give away.

[Norah]

I honestly don't know what to say to you. I have never encountered such level of rudeness!

[Davidgeo]

I really don't give a s**t what vacuous fake type people think of me. So just go ahead and don't say anything further to me.

Now, scram fake person.