This is Pain to Me

. I think I need to stop writing for a while .

a long time ago
i felt too much
with angels in my chest
and a devil in my mind

but things transgress

and time does pass

    slowly... 
since then i've become confused
too used to killing with a mind

on the way to  irrelevance

singular but ephemeral

I still thought I knew him. . .

now my heart is coming back
to absolutely nothing left
             now i can no longer weep
clearly,  anymore
my devil betrayed me
my chest is empty
            and what my mind says...
has become f*****g useless
(no man should live like this)
with an empty heart
and a confused mind
(I am no person)

            I am walking torture

it is time to stop

Author's Note

Reviews

[TerryDarcy-Ryan akaSh..]

The amount of torment you must feel ultimately comes down to you. On the bright side of things the heart is one of the few major organs that will regenerate its tissue in repair. Of course you will always have scars they are the story or a map of our worlds. And then we weave our tangled webs again. Rage-filled write.

Sheer Terror

[Davidgeo]

I agree. We choose our own moods. How serious do you take things?

[TerryDarcy-Ryan akaSheerTerror]

That depends. I am the matriarch, and I expect a level of respect. The things my children and grandchildren deem no big deal I take exemption too. Such as white lies, one thinks I don't see that far or omitting certain facts. I'm pretty easy going other than that. Outside my family and people, we'll I don't take s**t from anyone. I detest 95% of the human race, the mindless
Talk, the ridiculous reach to have more than your willing to work for the world has become lazy fat greedy b******s. I cannot go in a Walmart it's pure waiste, the depravity and sadness. No boundaries people judge a book by its cover with me and they are wrong. Wow, I feel like I went to far, is that what you ment?

[Davidgeo]

You take things too seriously; otherwise your response would've been shorter.

Smoke some grass.

[TerryDarcy-Ryan akaSheerTerror]

Oh, I will always mellow out the end of the day with a preferred sativa. You are right I am way to serious. The things we allow in our lives that take from the calm center. I am going to be off probation and officially divorced so less serious is in order. And have I ever answered with a short response? I doubt it.

[Rebecca Leigh]

Wow, tremendous write! I can really feel your pain, and I am sorry for you having to go through it... thank you for sharing

[Davidgeo]

Can you really? What does it feel like? I kinda think it feels like a dog licking peanut butter off of my toes.

[TPKE]

I see what you mean and I feel it on all levels but I just wish there was more to it. I just wish the story continued because of how good it was. short and sweet on a emotional level.

[Davidgeo]

To take it further would be more masochistic than I'm comfortable with being in public.

[TPKE]

fair enough. grateful for what it is though.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

I can relate totally
I enjoyed this immensely
Lots of people feel like this
We are one of thousands
We are all connected like one big cell we live in the earth we are connected to the earth we came from it and god and we go to it and god excuse if I haven’t capitalised god I feel when I just sit under a tree connected to it it’s a living breathing oxygen being u are not useless keep finding your joy in little things not big things like money or materialistic stuff be happy in yourself do nt depend on others for it they always let us down eventually
I am finding these above help me right now and seek god Jesus whoever you believe in seek and you will find but you are not useless by any means god put you on earth for a reason do t waste it anyway I’ve preached that to myself as well as you at this point believe me I’m floundering as well god bless happy new year good luck in finding the joy however small it may be even watching a bee get nectar

[Davidgeo]

You missed the point baby doll. The idea of any sort of diety is kinda the problem. But that's only as I take it... you believe in god so maybe he was just using me to say something you needed to hear. What the f**k do we know? (god's not real:(

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

Ok I just felt your pain
I reached out
Ok

[Davidgeo]

Don't be offended at my disbelief. This is all an intellectual exercise, ultimately no one can be proved right until no one can tell. Laugh with me, if only in a morose way from an opposite point of view... it's still much better that way.

[Davidgeo]

(we describe the same things differently is all)

[AYVID N]

The worst feeling is when one feels oneself becoming irrelevant (especially for those who are maniacally self-critical and keep tabs on themselves, like me) It happens because we keep shedding ourselves periodically. Yet, its hell when I don't know what I am any more or where I'm headed.

[Yahallo]

I quite like this poem. Somehow, I can relate to it, feel it. Loved the "angels in chest devil in mind" part. Brilliant.