Tick-Tock the Crocodile

time has been chasing you
time has a taste for you
each day she takes a piece of you
and the next a little more
and that day after ever more
as each day you slow just a little bit more
time will eventualy consume you
time has always had a taste for you
each day she does remind you
and the next a little more

Reviews

[emipoemi]

This started out stupendously well.....! and then kind of trailed off into monotony. The repetition at the end is powerful, but the lead up needs a bit of work (too many "more"'s). I'm not sure whether this is actually an existing form, but to me it could use some tweaks here and there to spice it up.

[Davidgeo]

It probably could. I'm kind of lazy though. I haven't seen or read anything about Peter Pan in a while. Thanks for your comment, it's actually pretty useful.

[emipoemi]

you're very welcome. always happy to be of service.

[J. B.]

clever. reminds me of Peter Pan a bit. good read

[apennylate]

Bloody awful... Definitely some of the worst, ego-laden, disgustingly self-absorbed writings I have come across in a loooong minute... L2P... L2Write... Useless bumbling moron...
I always win :3

[ManasaC]

Nice personification of time.
I enjoyed reading it.
I loved these lines "time has been chasing you
time has a taste for you."
Good day!!!

[Davidgeo]

I kinda stole it from Peter Pan.

[HC Abiona]

And I like how you made time a woman BTW

[HC Abiona]

I like this. I had to read it twice to understand it a little better but it caught my attention. I always find myself racing against time and I don't like it. But I really like this 😀