some days

rhetorical question's

are required only sometimes

on some days

on some days

i simply need actionable suggestion's

on some days

on some days

debate offers harm

delay and destruction

on some days

the world is already in flames

without question

on some days

Reviews

[pia]

quite an interesting poem you got there !!!
' debate offers harm.....on some days'
very true you know especially in today's world. we dont need debate we need action. quick action!!
' the world is already in flames' true it is !!! some days its silent some days its what you said ' on fire'
maybe i took this poem very literally. i believe it had a nice humorous touch to it
i felt it was very unique. good stuff !!!

[Davidgeo]

It's kind of sort of about leading soldiers in the military.

[emipoemi]

Nicely written! Well done!

[JayG]

Like whipped cream, there's more volume than substance. Saying that sometimes YOU like something inconsequential hardly involves the reader, or entertains them.

[Davidgeo]

That's a pretty generic review. Do you seriously think I write poetry for the reader? Nah... I'm not that shallow. I don't think anyone should write for the reader unless it's their occupation or objectively conveying information. Poetry is a personal thing, amateur poetry even more so. It's nice to see you still have some sour grapes from our past interactions; if you want to be less obvious about it you should leave a more reasoned critique. Basically you just said I should pander to what I think entertains strangers with my poetry, which I think that's kinda shallow and defeats the purpose of self discovery. But, hey, maybe shallow's your thing... I guess, more power to you champ.

[JayG]

• Do you seriously think I write poetry for the reader?

If you write to please yourself you have the easiest of critics, and don't have to work all that hard.

But forget that. If you didn't want others to read and like it you wouldn't have either posted it or ASKED me to comment.

Here's the deal: Everyone in your neighborhood learned to read/write in the same school system. And I'm betting your grades weren't all A's and B's.

In those writing lessons they taught you nothing meaningful about poetry.

And though the field of poetry has been under development for centuries, you've obviously spent no time or effort on BECOMING a poet. So why should your work be any better than the scribbles of your neighbors? Answer? It's not. Yet you post it here, and ask people like me to comment—then grumble when someone who didn't have to, granted your wish and told you what you need to know, not what you wanted to hear.

• Basically you just said I should pander to what I think entertains strangers with my poetry

No, I think you should learn what poetry is, and isn't. Your language isn't poetic. The structure isn't poetic. And you assume that a reader, who has no clue of your intent ,will read it with the same inflection and intensity you do.

Have your computer read it aloud and you'll hear both what a reader gets, and why I responded as I did,

[Davidgeo]

Ha.... you mad bro? I'm not about to read that wall of cry baby text... hahahaha, you're so easy to troll.

[Davidgeo]

Seriously though, don't ry too hard... this isn't that serious. It's kind of pathetic how you clearly think it is.

[Davidgeo]

I meant "don't CRY too hard"

[JayG]

You ASKED for comment, remember? If you're not pleased with the response the solution is simple: provide better work to critique.

[Davidgeo]

And I’m saying your review was generic and not real criticism. YOU not getting something does not mean no other reader will get it.

And I send read requests for two reasons… one to troll people I know have a problem with me and two… for grammatical or logical flaws. Just saying it’s not good for not involving the reader doesn’t make sense as a blanket statement. If you had served in the military, disaster management or law enforcement the meaning of this would be quite clear.

Remember, just because you review a lot of s**t doesn’t mean you know what you’re talking about. To most people, you’re a total joke for how serious you take your sophomoric reviews.

[Shannon Miller]

Jay, why are you being such a prick? When was it ever said that a poet HAS to write for a reader? Who said a WRITER has to write for others? I thought the poem had as much substance as volume. But your self-righteous attitude - which you also had in a review of one of my writings - is preventing you from seeing that. If you don't like it, fine. Don't be a d****e about it.

[JayG]

• Jay, why are you being such a prick?

So expressive. Obviously, you're a poet.
read more• Jay, why are you being such a prick?

So expressive. Obviously, you're a poet.

In point of fact, he ASKED me to review this piece. He came to me and wanted comment. So someone he doesn't know—someone published in poetry, fiction, and nonfiction, someone who people paid to evaluate their writing—granted his wish. Why would I do that? Because he asked for a critique. And certainly, he had the sense to see what kind of critiques I give (we hope), so what he got shouldn't be a surprise.

But in response to your question on who a poet should write for, you are a poet when others call you one. It's not an appropriated title, or one everyone who writes a few lines acquires. And you cannot be called a poet unless you take the reader's needs and understanding into account as you write, so the message the reader gets is the one you intend. Lacking that it's no more than self-gratification—mental masturbation, in other words. And you know what they say about people who do that in pubilc.

[Davidgeo]

You're embarrassing yourself. I don't know why you feel the need to be uber pretentious on an amateur writing site but it's making you look like a fool. You're just not that bright. Now, go find some self awareness and try again.

[Davidgeo]

Oh yeah... just because you respond to a read request doesn't mean I have to like your comment. If you want a better response write a better comment.... ha... I just turned your own logic around on you. Dumb a*s.

[KWP]

and on the other days ..... does the natural light from the sun tickle you in places long since forgotten ... put aside for not any day, not even some days, put away instead for when? :D X

[Davidgeo]

Something like that. The light I use to tickle myself doesn't come from the sun though.

[KWP]

hahahaha - I didn't think it would - I was tryng to be poetic XXX

[Davidgeo]

To be fair... we are all made of sun stuff. The ultimate product of an older generation of stars that went super nova over 5 billion years ago and seeded the universe with their blown apart innards.

[KWP]

oh man you talkin' dirty to me right now? :D

[Davidgeo]

Even your d***o is made of starlight... in a very roundabout way.

[KWP]

oh baby don't I know it ...

[Davidgeo]

You're lucky you live in Australia. I'd totally try and trick you into having sex with me otherwise.

[KWP]

hahahahaha how you would trick me I have no idea ...

[midniterider]

lol.he would have to trick somebody

[Davidgeo]

My tricks only work if you have no idea they are coming. I suppose you'll just have to move to America to find out.

[Davidgeo]

We got a stray in the thread it seems... (hi wordman... stop making fake profiles and just go away)

[midniterider]

can you imagine making love to this !!! wow

[Davidgeo]

Um.... what? You're too stupid to troll me Ronald... just give it up man. If you wouldn't keep doing bullshit just like this I would forget about you. But no... you just keep on keepin' on with your senile pathological lying bullshit. It's kinda sad man. You need help.

[midniterider]

u still sucking candy man

[midniterider]

sex,lol a woman would have to be passed out

[Davidgeo]

What? That doesn't make sense. Are you wasted already? Ugh. Sleep it off wordman... you'll feel better in the morning.

[midniterider]

the wordman has kicked your stupid a*s many times
he is a friend of mine,and you know me to

[Davidgeo]

You're embarrassing yourself Ronald Parrish. It would be in your best interests if you just moved on. No one believes you... you can't mask you're grade school writing style. It's obvious who you are. You should give this BS up, it serves no purpose.

[Alexzandera]

Nice flow. Short and simple. I liked it

[Davidgeo]

Thank you Alex. Short and simple is what I do best... my long ones tend to be dog s**t.

[midniterider]

if u knew this piece of s**t you would hide from him

[Davidgeo]

Sigh... so pathetic. Tell me about your military service Ron... what unit did you serve with again? Oh yeah... I forgot... you lied about that. Way to go liar man.

[KWP]

I do know him ... and guess what I'm fine thanks for your concern

[Davidgeo]

You got busted wordman... stop creating fake profiles... it only proves my point about you.