Unfortunate Teller

. you're a good man Nerwriter1 .

the future can influence the past

　

by way of abandonment complex

i've become a fortune teller

a self hating time traveler

　

i will always make us crash

based on what i "see"

　

we will never be "at long last"

　

with certainty i know this

　

i'm a f****n' fortune teller

an a*****e time traveller

from a not so distant future including me

                        and no one

i've seen it

　

from an inexplicable fear

i've become it

　

so i can never be whole

i can never be home

and everything's cold

trapped and afraid

my fear tells me nothing is gold

and I believe it

for no good reason

it's what's made me alone

for all those years

i've "seen" my future

and it makes my past

continue the present

into the future

as if it's already made

　

Author's Note

Reviews

[Ethan]

we will never be "at long last" is a great line. You've captured the unstableness of the past very well with things like "it's what's made me alone
for all those years," switching tenses. I loved Arrival a lot, and I must say, that soundtrack is heavenly.

[Davidgeo]

I love switching tenses. "kingdom came, kingdom come"....

Arrival is an excellent movie. The soundtrack fits perfectly, I think Johan Johannsson won an Oscar for sound editing and was nominated for best original score. The director, Denis Villeneuve, doesn't have a lot of films under his belt but there is another movie he directed called "Sicario" you might wanna check out. It's a very different movie compared to Arrival but still quite good and he uses the same guy for the score, Johan Johannsson.

[Ethan]

Ah my friend loved that movie, along with Samsara. I really need to watch it. Is the soundtrack just as good?

[Davidgeo]

It's good but it's much different than Arrival's. I would say you won't like the soundtrack as much... or the movie, but, that's just because Arrival is such a near perfect movie; Sicario is still the better movies out there.

[Davidgeo]

.... I meant to type... ONE of the better movies out there.

[Ethan]

Have you ever seen the Tree if Life?

[Davidgeo]

I've been meaning to but I never get around to it. It's a Terrance Malik flick right? He's very hit or miss with me.

[Ethan]

Yeah, I like most of his stuff, but this movie is especially good. The soundtrack isn't completely original, but the music chosen is wonderful.

[Davidgeo]

I needed something to watch anyway. Thanks for the recommendation, I'll let you know if I hate/love it.

[Diane]

I would say this is very raw. Very well written as well. Not 100% sure what its about, but has something do with a bad run of luck, or a very bumpy road? Anywho, it was different in a good way. Not everything can be peachy all the time.

[Davidgeo]

It's about the abandonment complex... and this poem doesn't fully make sense just yet. Any tips?

[Diane]

I really don't have any tips. Poems don't have to make sense, its all about how they make the reader feel. Kinda like a bible verse, everyone reads the same one, but everyone takes away something different from it depending on where they are in their life or even how there day is going.

[Diane]

I am not anywhere close to being a good writer. I just enjoy doing.

[Davidgeo]

No one here is a truly "good" writer. Even at my best I'm only average. But, everything needs to make sense one way or another if it's to be anything at all... otherwise we all might as well just be reciting the alphabet like idiots.

[Diane]

LOL agreed. I was just saying sometime people take away a different meaning even when its plain as day for others.

[Abraham George]

so i can never be whole
i can never be home
and everything's cold
trapped and afraid
my fear tells me nothing is gold

and I believe it
for no good reason

it's what's made me alone
for all those years
i've "seen" my future
and it makes my past

continue the present

as if it's already been made

i like this part and

i'm a f****n' fortune teller
an a*****e time traveller
from a not so distant future including me
and no one

this one is F**king good.

keep writing A**h**e traveler.

my friend don't feel bad i was just joking. you are good in writing.
i loved it.

[Davidgeo]

You don't have to copy and paste the whole poem when you comment, it's already there about 4 inches up.

I'm glad you liked it. Though, I didn't like writing this one.