Supra Model

out of private homes

 and values taboo

stop f*****g your sister

fantasy man

    how twisted do I assume you are?

"my dear, become a porn star"

    sheltered is perverted now

acting is living now

didn't you know that?

        take your pants off

this ain't taboo enough

                                    show me all of you

despite everything

   and everyone

      you will do the weirdest s**t

your sister said so

 

this is normal

sign the waiver

                                   this is

the entertainment nobody talks about

(but everyone sees)

      vigorously

      in private

                         ugh.

                                 

                   run away with me

                               dear

secrets

Author's Note

Reviews

[Touché Armada]

Some one mentioned your lines are not "classy" but nor is the porn industry so it fits. The lack of tact, the lack of warmth or care I think the stark nature of it well suits the subject. Porn is heartless, it deserves no heart invested into anything art framing it, nor would it suit it. In that regard this poem is quite clever in my opinion.

[Davidgeo]

Thanks lemon face. There really is an incest fantasy kick going on in the porn industry right now, this was just commentary. I'm not really f*****g my sister. (previous reviews have compelled me to specify that)

[Touché Armada]

LOL, so long as you are both at the age of consent, who am I to judge? If it was relevant. I too know a thing or two about the annals of society. Keep writing it out.

[MsJewel]

Your words are raw and yes - a bit shocking, but I agree with Touche Armada - the porn industry isn't sweet and sappy, so the style fits. You have a unique way of writing - quite clever. Julie

[Davidgeo]

The porn industry is only a reflection of our baser self's en masse I think. Freud and Jung would have a field day with todays state of adult entertainment.

[JayG]

Shock has little value in poetry.

You need to work on prosody.

[Davidgeo]

What if it's not for shock? Ever think about that "genius"? Way to pre judge though... good job. I know enough of you not to be surprised though. Try and look deeper next time.

[Davidgeo]

"shock has little value in poetry..."? really? Ever hear of the beat generation? Ginsberg? Burroughs? Are you purposely being obtuse due to bias or are you actually a f*****g idiot?

[Davidgeo]

don't answer... I already know... faux smart guy. (it's bias, you d*********s work in packs)

[Davidgeo]

Don't waste your time with this blue-pink eye. It's an old beef... this dude is from a while back.

[Davidgeo]

There is a constituency of users here that feel honesty is not the goal. Pandering is. I f**k with those people frequently, they retaliate with petty reviews like that. In this moment, that's why fuckface left said review. No other reason. Check his other reviews, he's actually pretty accepting of all things. (unless I say/write them)

[JayG]

If you want better reviews, post better work. You ASKED for that critique. And if you didn't have the sense to look at the kind of critiques I give, and say, "Praise only," look in the mirror. The fault is yours.

[Davidgeo]

So... if I send out a read request I relinquish all rights to intelligently defend myself? Wow... you suck at life kid.

[Abhishek Asthana]

Really unique concept to write about... nicely framed

[Eddie Phillips]

It is a deep subject that you address in your own way with your own unique voice. It is a interesting piece.

[Davidgeo]

Thanks Fast Eddie. Do you mind if I call you Fast Eddie?

[Alessander]

Dig the topic. "Incest porn" is rather popular I think. And this tackles the subj without exactly moralizing.

There's an underlying disgust, but I uncertain about whether that disgust is aimed at the porn industry or the private watchers or both.

Seems like both.

I often wonder if such taboo masturbation rewires our psyche on a subconscious level.

[Davidgeo]

Are you trying to tell me that you don't watch incest porn?

[Alessander]

I don't believe most of them are really related. Just like I don't believe it's really a "mom/daughter" or the guy ringing the door bell is really a pizza man.

[Davidgeo]

No, incest porn is almost always fake. It's all fantasy. It is a taboo subject none the less. Most people who watch incest porn would never actually engage in the practice in real life. It's about a broader desire to be very taboo with one's fantasy's. Taboo takes many forms.

[Anna]

Your lines are not very classy, darling. Weave your words, don't just throw out your thoughts. If you're going to write about sex with your sister, at least do it properly. I see no capitalization, no solid stanzas, and your form is atrocious. However some of your other works like '"We've Never Been"' had some potential.

Here are some tips:
1) Use proper grammar/punctuation in poem form.

2) Use profanity rarely or only when it is fitting.

3) Discover your own style/form of writing.
(Spacing your words at places on the paper is not form. Form is how you write.)

Take this as constructive criticism. I would love to see you learn, and become a better writer. Since my father is an English professor, who has taught me, I hope you listen to my advice.

And please look up the word "redundant."

[Davidgeo]

Thanks for your feedback. I don't particularly subscribe to your approach but I understand what you are trying to get at. Try and be more receptive to free form poetry, you sound a little rigid but maybe that's just your thing. Thanks for your advice, I'm sure you meant well.

[PaintedBirdy]

you two sound like brother and sister.

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

her sister, his sister, their sisters, everyones sisters. TABOO

[Davidgeo]

You're likely labeled creepy merely by saying anything about this.

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

If so, if so, truth is a lie covered in frosting.

[Davidgeo]

Ha... clever

[The Iron Horseman]

Sick, sick, sick, sick, sick!
Yes, it happens. Yes, we all wish it didn't.
If you are going to write about it, please give it some form if you are using poetry as your medium. If not, just write it as a story!
This is not meant to be harsh or destructive; it is intended to encourage you to use your skills to better purpose. Keep on writing.

[Davidgeo]

Ha... the f****n' "poetry police" are out in full force on this one. hahahhahah, I take it as compliment to be honest. I wonder though, why are you commenting on someone else's comment and not just leaving your own? Does this massively complex system somehow confuse you?

[The Iron Horseman]

Apparently so!! :)