Justine and Justice

Brooding alone

My fear is brewed in the nude

Fearlessly

Exposing frailty

Exposing answers I never had questions for

As a natural discovery

One I do not control

A thirst forever unquenched

Refined piss

My bloody fears in small pieces

Shake my bedrock and fracture a dense core

Deeply

And against me

This is everything 

Where I find safety

My in house malice

Always remains

I am treason to myself

Asymmetrical

Undivulged

Unfelt

Out of context 

Out of my f*****g mind

Amoral

And moral

A walking conundrum

A vast and complex separated fortune

... this ...

How my emotion delayed

Becomes emotion denied

I can't remember

The next time 

My last time

Probably feels like the first time

With more guilt

And self loathing

Life tastes different through the ages

Diffracted

My light is split

My spectrum is frayed 

Author's Note

Reviews

[Barbara Walker]

Love your word choices in many of your works but this one stands out for me. Though it may be taken as a poem of not knowing self by others, I see it as knowing self very well in all a person's complexity. Really great write! (I threw that exclamation point in just for you. lol)

[Davidgeo]

No one knows themselves too well I think. And at the same time we all know far more than we can say. Consciousness is complex beyond knowing... it is only a reflection of something we cannot (yet) understand. It's Plato's cave... our understanding is still dealing with shadows in a confined space.

[Davidgeo]

And thank you! Very much for the review!

[Indra's Child]

Beautiful wording, honestly. Seems like a journey, an exploration of the self, and a deciphering of where and how the true self and the facade we all put up may differ.

[Chip Murison]

BTW - very interesting video too.

[Davidgeo]

Diffraction grating is lovely to play with... and so damn cheap. My favorite light for that discount spectrum analysis was a metal halide bulb (not in the video).

[Chip Murison]

Really good Bloody!

"Where I find safety
My in house malice
Always remains"

That hits the nail on the head.

[KWP]

your last few lines remind me of Heisenberg's theory of uncertainty ... My light is split ... ha! So at one end of your reality you are bouncing around, doing the same at the other end too, but because we can see you bouncing, we will never really know where you are ....

don't you think we are all bi-polar to some degree ... I mean it makes sense right ... some just swing the pendulum much farther east and west than others who pin themselves fervently to one point ...

sorry I didn't check out the video ... never do X

[Davidgeo]

Most of the videos I post are just fluff. You might like the one I put under this one though.

I implore to give it a go. It's not music and it's not very long but it certainly is brilliant in a practical way.

[KWP]

alrighty then ... I have a feeling you are right, I will like it X

[Davidgeo]

You're not too far off with the uncertainty part...

[KWP]

that guy is pretty passionate about see the spectrum ... :)

[Davidgeo]

He's doing what Isaac Newton did way back when he focused sunlight through a prism to separate the spectrum. He then started measuring and codifying the sun's spectrum... he gave the word 'color' an entirely new meaning that we still use today (in astrophysics). Ever hear of a lady named Annie "jump" Cannon? Same vein but with stars instead of light bulbs.

[KWP]

that just reminded me of Rumi's poem ... let me find it ...

I have lived on the lip
of insanity, wanting to know reasons,
knocking on a door. It opens.
I've been knocking from the inside.

You reminded me of it when you spoke of Einstein, scientists still cannot get their heads around that they are still observing science from the 'inside' and so therefore the outcome will always be determined by some kind of conditioning and hmmm persuasion from self?

[Davidgeo]

The observer effect, not to be confused with the uncertainty principle (not at all the same things). However, when talking about human conditioning and stuff like that you don't want to use Einstein or Bohr or Heisenberg's interpretations.... they are talking about physics --- quantum mechanics, thermodynamics... etc. etc.. As far as human conditioning, subjective bias, experimenter bias etc.. you want to talk about the observer-expectancy effect. Very, very different things but they are slighty analogous on a superficial level.

[Poet.Don]

You're choice of words is very interesting, splendid read

[Davidgeo]

Are you truly from Nassau?

[Davidgeo]

And thank you for reviewing of course.

[Poet.Don]

Yes I am, and it's my pleasure

[Davidgeo]

Such a lovely place... I do hope you enjoy it. Watch out for the weather these next few days.

[Poet.Don]

Yeah storms brewing, thanks