There is this Guy....

there is this guy

pathetic, complex, and exotic

just paralyzed, helpless,

slave to his retardedness

a living conundrum of a vanity project

too stupid to produce

too intelligent to write off

rich, allegedly, beyond means

blunt, caustic, and obscene

obnoxious maybe toxic

with a view that says

all scenes are baby s**t to his face

,the hardly man,

failed so many times

he lost sight of pride

to expense an ego

inflated with a poor memory

and a hollowness

(the vapid man)

it seems the very definition of himself

is beside himself

bowing to ill perceived ability

finding hope in baby s**t

rage and fear and more s**t

a past love with a cowboy culture

full of s**t

fighting Indians and other villains

"pride fully"

at the expense of a new enlightenment movement

can we afford to be so blindly nostalgic?

Led by an idiot?

Reviews

[Kathrin S]

Wow, I wasn't expecting the ending! I thought this was just some random man you were talking about.

Here are my observations and notes:

I really liked the first part of the poem, especially the line 'obnoxious maybe toxic'. Also, as I just said, the ending (last two lines) was very powerful for me.

There is quite a bit of repetition of 's**t'. While using the word works in this poem, I would maybe cut it out one or two times, just so there's not excessive repetition.

Stylistic things:
- conondrum - isn't it 'conundrum'?
- "all scene's" -> "all scenes"
- "to expense" - I think it should be "to expend".

[Davidgeo]

Yeah, right on. Thanks for those corrections. No one does that for me anymore. I have to catch errors days later. Bunch of p*****s, letting me look foolish. Thank you though.

[Davidgeo]

But nay on the 'to expend' thing. I would like to express a person that is trading his pride, dignity, and character simply to maintain "importance" and hold attention.

[Davidgeo]

an expensive ego

[Kathrin S]

No problem, that's what reviews are for!