Breaking Icarus

we are broken parts

of icarus

still burning

but not yet burned

still running

around the sun...

who consumes us

violently

in acceptance

quantized

sans judgement

simply function

for every molecule

every element

in the spiral

at the bottom

the end is cold

the end is dense

the end is certain

lights burn out

consumed by fate

helpless

to be broken

back into small parts

Author's Note

Reviews

[ranscan]

I applaud this unique application of a Greek fable, scientific garcon including what I think is a variance of the electrical meaning for quantized, and the deliberate use of the word "end" in three sequential lines with obvious intent.
This has a well developed theme, the imagery is well developed and consistent, yet it allows for appreciation on multiple levels.
I do have a question. The use of burning in the third line and burned in the fourth, is there perhaps not a synonym that would still relate the condition wished as far as the past state or not yet past state of the term in line four? Its a change that will not hopefully affect the idea being expressed, while maintaining the quality of the work.

[Davidgeo]

Excellent question. It's hard to think of a fancy word for plasma or the other ambiguous states. Quark stew has no synonym I can think of. I'm always open to suggestions.

[Kathrin S]

Another very interesting poem - it inspired me to go look up Icarus as I'd forgotten exactly which story it was. So thank you for the history lesson :) Loved the repetition of 'the end'.

[aLittlePain]

This is splendid! I love your word choices depicting this decomposing of sorts, diggin the application of Icarus I think that makes every line purposeful...s**t that doesn't even make sense...lol. I do like this so much. R x