Have you ever felt bad about feeling bad for someone?
Like staring into your own pity on a fleshy mirror as it eventually turns into something selfish... Like a bizarre fetishized Emotional masturbation.
Painful...
Those who dwell on past misery for excessive amounts of time are emo jerk off kings and Queens. Ruler's of sorrow.
There is a really old 1959ish Twilight Zone episode named "The Sixteen Millimeter Shrine".... it's on Netflix... you should Watch it. Bet you'll like it. They used to smoke so Many cigarettes on tv back then. But in a classy way.