Fissures in Men

culture cracks splits like the earth

My charisma magical fingertipped-tacular

Tabula Rasa, chirp chirp, there's me bluebird

Made a birdhouse in me soul; from the giants

Keep the light on when you're off fishing

For those people called your brethren

You're fishermen of old fishers, of the lost men

Trapped deep in the fissures of an aged culture

Will my bluebird keep me company while I wait

To be set free from the fissures of men

By the fishers of men

Reviews

[barrywatkins]

I didn't say you sucked, just that this was ok, if sort of average. What's wrong with that, I mean, this poem is not exactly a tour de force, but it was worthy of some merit.

barry

[Davidgeo]

Are you really trying to "troll the troll" now? AGAIN? Don't you guys have jobs? Go to work man.... go play with your kid or hang out with your wife.... stop stalking me you friggin freaks. Actually, no, this way decent people get left alone if you're too busy with me. Go read more of my work, comment your pretty little heart out..... take your time... take the rest of your life. Leave everyone else alone and stop making fake profiles.

[barrywatkins]

I was only trying to be nice. Considering how offensive your behaviour is, you take offence really easily.


barry

[Davidgeo]

Trying to be nice? hahahhahah You just, less then about 20 minutes ago, said I sucked at writing, that I have no original ideas, that I am a horrible women stalker.... now, oh, you're claiming to be a nice person. Are you drunk? You just ruined your little fake "barrywatkins" profile by contradicting yourself so completely in such a short amount of time.... damn man, how are this bad at this?

[barrywatkins]

Well, I take it back a little. This is not too bad at all. Slightly stilted, a tad trite, (overused message and all that,) but still a decent effort.

This is what you should do, concentrate on improving your writing instead of spitting venom all over the place.

kind regards.

barrywatkins

[Davidgeo]

It's not going to work. I know you are one of the shitbags from the shitbag team of shitbags on this site. You can keep trying but, you just expose yourself more each and every time. At least stop signing that fake name.

[Davidgeo]

Also, you're an a*s hat and a pathetic clown... not a funny clown... a sad and pathetic clown.

[Davidgeo]

Now go away from me... this does not get better for you.