Softly, Softly

My man Bobbi Darin...

This is me holding your sensitivity

And it's softer than newborn baby s**t

Softly, softly squeeze life into it and on you

Like Bobbi Darin over an evening sunset, sunset

On the way to an early sunrise, sunrise

And he said, "whatever gives you glory

Will take it all away"

From the darkness I will show to you

What light pollution has done to you

And your newborn sensitive baby stool

Can finally find impact and form

And become that hard adult piece of s**t

Every one of us is truly meant to be

Passing harder

Each and every day

Finding a way each of us

The poetry of a life's decay

Dung death into earth

Into breath for new mirth

What takes away your glory

Returns eternal a never ending story

Reviews

[SheepishScoop]

So brash! I love the language and all it's grit! The start was so strong, it jarred me a little-- in a good way.

Form wise, I love the clipping of your stanza's and how they over flow into the next line-- it gives the piece a sort of "Glub Glub Glub" feeling. Like air bubbles caught in a tipped bottle-- It's a feeling that fits the language well.

In respects to content, the ideas you clip in are great-- they make me a bit depressed, but the tone and the way you present them makes it oddly enjoyable. I think my favorite set is "From the darkness...has done to you" It paints a really conflicting set of images in my head... and the "S**t stream" (As I will call it very lovingly) that comes after is very effective-- and thankfully, for me at the very least, hilarious.

[Davidgeo]

Thanks to you. It is a s**t stream, when I was forming the newborn stool element that phrase struck me. It was not planned but, well, everything I write is a "s**t stream" I guess.

Baby poop is always amusing.

[SheepishScoop]

Personally, any bodily expulsions are pretty funny. If you are a Python fan, I have the funny skit of the fat man vomiting everywhere and refusing a mint. :)

S**t streams for the win!

[ANTO]

Sounds very intellectual and stuff...hmmmm... I wonder

[Davidgeo]

Are you opposed to trolling? Yet you have gone on this drawn out and childish name calling crusade. It's really a huge disappointment. You guys aren't good at this, you just form a crowd and bully, bully, bully.... name calling, threats of violence... I've gotten death threats from you people... but here you are, still... At least I have substance, your just an angry kid. I'm gonna go find your old buddy again, find out the real specific details into what it is you did to drive so many off one site. Catch ya later kid.

[ANTO]

I just wanted to 'read you'. Sorry if that annoys you.

[ANTO]

Tell him Hi from me

[Davidgeo]

Damn, you really are a mix of p***y, coward, a*****e and pathetic loser... ugh. I feel dirty just talking to you this much...

[Davidgeo]

Get lost stalker/ borderline sex offender.... You are a kind of scum I dislike on the most fundamental level.

[ANTO]

Yes, don't lower yourself there's a good boy. You go play with the geniuseseses

[ANTO]

Why you no wanna be friends Jizzbert?

[ANTO]

And for your information I don't live anywhere near the border, so there !!

[Davidgeo]

Are you going to be okay tonight? Should I call the local authorities to check on you later?

[ANTO]

Roobie Rooobie Rooooo
och Im only having a laugh wif ya ! why you so anal

[Davidgeo]

Clearly you are drinking. Just don't drive or hurt anybody tonight. Call your parents if you think you're going to hurt yourself. This anger will pass, no need to ruin your life over it tonight. Good luck.

[ANTO]

party-pooper

[ANTO]

let your ponytail down

[ANTO]

Tell me where to find my ratings dahhhhhling please luvvey

[Davidgeo]

At your local mental health facility. Tell them it's an emergency.

[ANTO]

Tell them their favourite Napolean Jizzbert sent me eh?

[ANTO]

i can see it now - me and Jizzbert going to the mental health facility together as best buds .. oh I love your idea of a date

[Davidgeo]

It's very sad to witness emotional implosions... you have let yourself be consumed by your own emotions. I'm sorry.

[ANTO]

Hey Jizzbert - why you speak like Spock ? - why you no fun anymore?

[ANTO]

Aww Jizzbert dont be sorry - be happy - like this - see :)))))))))
Now turn that frown upside down bestie

[KWP]

now boys ......

[Elise Anton]

Interesting analogy.

"And he said, "whatever gives you glory
Will take it all away""

That's probably what stood out for me the most.

Sensitivity hardens sure. So much encroaches on it. It decays and is returned to earth, reborn to repeat. Same process.
Some believe a Higher Power gives and takes away. God, Government, Society, The Person Next To You - choose one... Same process.

I like it. Facts are facts.