Softly, Softly

My man Bobbi Darin...

This is me holding your sensitivity

And it's softer than newborn baby s**t

Softly, softly squeeze life into it and on you

Like Bobbi Darin over an evening sunset, sunset

On the way to an early sunrise, sunrise

And he said, "whatever gives you glory

Will take it all away"

From the darkness I will show to you

What light pollution has done to you

And your newborn sensitive baby stool

Can finally find impact and form

And become that hard adult piece of s**t

Every one of us is truly meant to be

Passing harder

Each and every day

Finding a way each of us

The poetry of a life's decay

Dung death into earth

Into breath for new mirth

What takes away your glory

Returns eternal a never ending story

Reviews

[SheepishScoop]

So brash! I love the language and all it's grit! The start was so strong, it jarred me a little-- in a good way.

Form wise, I love the clipping of your stanza's and how they over flow into the next line-- it gives the piece a sort of "Glub Glub Glub" feeling. Like air bubbles caught in a tipped bottle-- It's a feeling that fits the language well.

In respects to content, the ideas you clip in are great-- they make me a bit depressed, but the tone and the way you present them makes it oddly enjoyable. I think my favorite set is "From the darkness...has done to you" It paints a really conflicting set of images in my head... and the "S**t stream" (As I will call it very lovingly) that comes after is very effective-- and thankfully, for me at the very least, hilarious.

[Davidgeo]

Thanks to you. It is a s**t stream, when I was forming the newborn stool element that phrase struck me. It was not planned but, well, everything I write is a "s**t stream" I guess.

Baby poop is always amusing.

[SheepishScoop]

Personally, any bodily expulsions are pretty funny. If you are a Python fan, I have the funny skit of the fat man vomiting everywhere and refusing a mint. :)

S**t streams for the win!

[Barbara Walker]

After reading this, I feel a bit s****y.

[barrywatkins]

I'm old enough to remember Bobby Darin. His rendition of 'If I were a carpenter,' is an all time favourite of mine.

[anandbose]

To interpret it you are still childish and in the Freudian sense the Anal stage. The scatological imagery does confuse the reader and let's him/her enjoy your ignorance, your lack of sense to be anywhere near creativity.

[Davidgeo]

Analbose, you are so wise.... I do love anal. Not with dudes so much though, so, I'm afraid you and may not work out together romantically.

It is cute how you think the mere mention a feces must be in regard to scat humor.... it means you have a shame problem to go along with your language and anger problem. HAve a nice day Analbose.

[Samantha ~virginpoet]

@anandbose this guy is a troll TKlittle aka David Demeers aka a thousand other fake names here and his bs has no end

[Davidgeo]

Hey, Sammy "one eye"!!! What's up baby doll? Yeah... everyone knows who I am. And that I'm not all those fake names and bizarre profiles you and dickface wordman create. You are one seriously deranged lady... I find you perplexing, distasteful, and highly amusing. You are a train wreck and I'm kinda happy to see it.... so... yeah, bring it on classy lady.

[Davidgeo]

You have no balls... Sammy one eye

[Davidgeo]

Sammy one eye.... are you done being a vindictive a*s hat now? Jealousy and desperation combine to form the most awful smelling perfume my dear... perhaps you should take a bath.

[Davidgeo]

How have you been Analndbose? I miss our pleasant discourse.

[brianborgan]

A well-crafted poem does not declare its theme, but rather allows it to emerge organically from the concrete details of the poem. Unfortunately this is not the case with this work, in fact it is pants and ought be buried beneath concrete.

As the author admits, it's little more than a s**t stream.

[Davidgeo]

It is "pants"? I'm not hip on that euro lingo so, what the f**k does that mean if you don't mind me asking?

[Stars and Whales]

wow this is trash dude crap

[Davidgeo]

Ha... funny how your pathetic PM kissing my a*s about how great everything I write is turns to anger when the feeling isn't automatically reciprocated. Most of you seem to be just a bunch of phony nice peoples thinking this is anything other than a mutual ego jerk off community. You idiots have no idea what this is.... this is the f*****g Farmville of vanity writing!!! Idiots.

[Terpsichore]

Dunno about that, I know I'm 90% water though.

[Davidgeo]

I thought you said you weren't a troll? I'm not really into being friends with awful human beings like you, Anto, I think I made that clear. So, are you just very obtuse or what? LEts just stop pretending you're not a troll with some seriously hurt feelings over nothing.... Anto.

[Terpsichore]

This is really good. I like way to tackle the pertinent issues of the day. Shame he didn't marry Connie.


T

[Davidgeo]

Most people who knew Darin agree that women overstated the relationship.... Darin never had intentions on marrying her and the story about her father chasing him out of building at gunpoint are known to be fabricated for publicity. You are 100% surface aren't you?

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the honest and truth of your words.
"Each and every day
Finding a way each of us
The poetry of a life's decay"
The above lines were my favorite. Life's decay. Bad and good things will eat away at us. Forgive or move on? You said a lot in the poem. Left the reader with a lot to ponder. Thank you for sharing your powerful poetry.
Coyote