Untitled

A Poem by Iamsolistless

This was written in a moment I feel so pathetic

I know I had something to say
I've always had...
But I can't seem to find the proper words
I can't seem to find the right time to say it.
For I've never been a vocal person
Though I'm always full of thoughts
So many words kept to the point it's killing me

I have never cried or at least that's what I'm trying to show to everyone
I'm just afraid that if I ever open my mouth
And talk about what's going on with me they might laugh at me
The might judge me as an attention seeker
I mean I know I'm not unfortunate
I'm not a homeless person
So i might have thought they'd say what's with the drama
I wish i had the answer
But i also don't know
What in hell is wrong with me
Why do i have to feel this way
Why does it have to be me
When I've always acted like the tough ine
When I've never shed a tear in front of anybody
Not even to my parents
Why does it have to be me
Who have to be like this
A person no one would ever believe
Going through all this
I can't even believe it myself
I can't even tell anyone
Not even my closest friend
Which I doubt I ever had
To me they're now just acquaintances
Who would nonchalantly ask how are you from time to time
Who won't even remember what day it is for me today
A day how I wished had never happened
But I guess I'll have to thank them at least
For reminding me that I'm still a person who exists
They do , when they need at least a bit of my helo
That would make me think at least i'm not a useless person
Just a hopeless one
Hopeless that anyone would treat me hiw i wanted to be
And would genuinely like me not for what I have or what I am
But at least for just being me