Fearless' Fear

Insecure minds and anxious hearts

I've already deleted the past years 

When I have cried too much

 Remembering how I emotionally suffered 

Without having someone to tell about it 

It is not like I don't want anybody to know 

I just can't ...

Because of my fear... Fear to be laughed 

Fear to be criticized...

Criticized for being an attention seeker

I did let them know...

I've given subtle signs that I am dying

 I've already hinted them a lot...

of how is it inside of me...

Through this...the only medium I could think of...

The only thing I can manage to do well

But again I was ignored...

Maybe they have seen it

But did not think much of it...

or are they looking down on me now? 

Maybe they thought  I am no longer the person they used to admire

Was I even admired? or did they just flattered me to feed my ego ?

or did they think what I was writing isn't about me?

Because they just can't imagine that was me.

I couldn't blame them though 

For I've always put up a facade 

Pretending that I have no weakness 

That I fear nothing, nor do I feel inferior about anything 

That I just only played humble but think highly of myself 

That I am someone that doesn't know how to cry

That among the women, I am the man

But behind all that, with that mask I always put on 

I am cautious of my every move , my every word 

I was paranoid...

I keep imagining and overthinking of things...

Words  everyone might have said about me 

I am afraid that I am being hated for reasons that I don't know of or

For reasons I always think of

 I can never feel at ease

 I would always be bothered

 Of the things that I have always been trying to avoid

 Of the whispers that make me cower in fear 

Of the things that I would continue to hide from 

 And have no ways to confirm

Reviews

[Unspoken poet]

Welcome to the cafe... This is a such an emotional read here, nicely written and expressed.

[Jinx Bane]

A very creative way to express your feelings, I enjoyed this piece, thank you.

[Gabby The GAB]

There are just some things we wish to be heard in a manner to which the people could understand what we really feel. A very nice way of sharing your current mood.

ps: I too have this kind of mood, the title's Listen for awhile. Have a nice day! :)