thank you.

bad relationships can be good sometimes

thank you for my protruding ribs

like the bony fingers of my

darkest demons

reaching for freedom from this

goddamn wasteland of a body

clawing out of my lungs

suffocated by thc and the

intoxicating eyes of somebody else and

knowing i was wrong about

something so sure was just too

nauseating to ignore.

thank you for not accepting �" no �"

the first

the second

the third time okay fine whatever you want

because it was always whatever you want

because my body believed it

belonged to you but the

taste of salt water from

eyelash to

nose to

lips

mouth to mouth

tongue on tongue

it was only then that you

dismounted a golden chariot that was

never yours to ride.

thank you for driving away

and teaching me the meaning of

�" abandonment �" as i

pulled on my hair

fingernails in flesh

trying to feel anything besides the

burden of breaking

my family my world my life apart

you left the door open so i could

hear what you were never

brave enough to

say to my face

�" i just cant handle you anymore jesus

christ wont you get some f*****g help �"

but still i let you back inside

because i failed to see that

changing antidepressants

three times in

six months did not

make me helpless

it made me hopeful

persistent a

warrior in a

silent struggle

doing all i could to survive each day.

thank you for making me love myself

because now I know freedom

I am writing again and

singing and dancing

I am dreaming again

for the first time in months I’m dreaming

and oh god I’m dreaming of the

other eyes that

made me feel alive again.

Author's Note

point out any/all flaws?