Dear Self,

You are one complex b***h. I don’t know how one person can be both an angel and the devil. You don’t tolerate bullshit, but love harder than other human on this planet. You put other people’s needs before your own and therefore a people pleaser. You are so hard on yourself. You can’t remember anything to save your life. You are so competitive and when you think your being conspicious, you’re not. Surprisingly, you are very comfortable with how you look. Sure you can lose an lb here and there but you’re content. Life is a serious of unexpected ness for you. You’ve recently learned that not everything happens for a reason and the universe is random. NOthing you do is going to be cause and effect. Your friends used to describe you as a hopeless romantic, you are not anymore. Although your passion for quotes, reading, and crafts live on. You would love to write and read your poetry for others, someday. People were not kidding when they say twenties are the years that you discover yourself. At 23, I began therapy and discovered my ethnicity influnces my self identity like no other. ie: sexuality. At 23, I left a seven year relationship. The unexpected part? You guys are friends. Literally BFFs. And I don’t hate it. I love how J knows all my bad parts but yet still loves me. Oh did I mention how much I hate showing weakness? I try to stay perfect 100% only special people get to see my weirdness. And yes, I get weird. And for some reason I am horrible, absolutely HORRIBLE at goodbyes. I tend to linger. At 24, I was rejected from graduate school, my dream program. The biggest goal of my young adult life. The loss I’ll never get over, but have to absorb. You don’t give a s**t about stigmas. I go to therapy, and yes I like working with dying people. For some reason, it has a special place in my heart. Maybe I just like doing things people don’t like doing. Yes, all my friendships are one sided. I love them all, but something always feels missing. At 24, I began to realize few friends is better than lots of friends. At 24, I’ve realized how important self care is. That it’s always going to be you against the world, and only you. This too shall pass. At 24, I’ve begun my self discovery journey. At 24, I feel like im having an early life crisis. At 24, I discovered the word “boyfriend” makes me feel uncomfortable. Today, I am telling myself- it’s going to be okay, you are alive, you are breathing and you ARE enough. This too shall pass.