All I wanted was...

Argument with myself about what to do... (By the way, I just wrote this to get some feelings out. It's not perfectly set out. It just helped me to sort out my feelings. Thanks for reading!)

All I wanted was one dance.  No, I'm wrong, I only wanted someone.  I didn't care who, but I know that I wanted someone.  I wanted someone to look me in the eye, someone who would tell me that I'm beautiful, and someone who would hold me tight.  Especially that last part.  I really wanted someone to hold me tight.  

Now that I think of it, I still want that.  The only thing holding me back now is fear and confusion.  I am full of fear that you will hurt me again.  Last time that I opened up to you, you took everything that you could reach.  You took everything from me and left me lying alone afterwards.  

There is also confusion holding me back, because there are others out there.  After this many months you decide to begin a conversation with me again?!  Don't you know that you can not use me for the rest of both of our lives?  There are others out there.  Others that talk to me, laugh with me, and help me.  Yeah.  What do you think about that?

So your relatively serious about me this time.  I'm not sure whether to believe you, or walk away like you left me.  Do you think this game is fun?  I sure could find a lot better things to do.  Yet, at the same time, you're drawing me in.  I'm scared.  I don't want you to break my heart again.  

Leave me alone.  I need time to think.  I don't know what I ever wanted.

Author's Note

(By the way, I just wrote this to get some feelings out. It's not perfectly set out. It just helped me to sort out my feelings. Thanks for reading!)

Reviews

[Miki]

This sounds so much like an experience I've had recently. I had a boyfriend, sweet and kind. He looked me in the eye and told me I was beautiful, held me tight, it was nice. :) But then of course he decided I wasn't good enough for him, so he dumped me, leaving me alone afterward. My best friend comforted me while I had been lost in confusion and darkness... But then she ended up stabbing me in the back and started dating my ex-boyfriend. Suddenly she stopped talking to both of us and won't take any of our calls, haha. Now my ex-boyfriend has turned back to me, talking to me, and assuming a facade of kindness once again. He wants to get back together again, saying "Oh, I feel bad for breaking up with you. Do you want to get back together?" The only difference between your story and my experience is I have no one else. :( I completely agree with your story, however, and I think it's wonderful. Terrific work. :)