Baby dreaming

I  had a dream
I had a dream
I had a dream
But it was your dream
And I was living through you
I was celebrating through you
I was holding the moment with you
And I loved it
But I didn't feel
That is was me
I didn't feel
That it was celebrating me
I felt that I was celebrating you
And
The absence of my dream
Made it hard for me to completely be with you
I was celebrating your dream
That I ended up having a dream
But it wasn't a dream
It was a strong part of me that wasn't there to begin with
That it woke me up
I didn't know whether I was in a dream or in reality
My dream was about my baby
And about how I had a baby
And the baby was mine
I woke up believing there was a baby
In me
I looked around my room and walked to the spare room to check
There was no crib
No God damned nursery rhymes
I realised that there was no baby for me to be worried about
I was so ditressed that night
The fear inside my heart was so strong
That I went upstairs
And I got the heatpack
I warmed it up
I slept with my heatpack that night
Crazy I know
But the warmth of that heatpack
Relaxed my heart
And the fear that was in the chasms deep deep inside my soul
The fear that I had accumulated for such a long time
That I had squashed away in a part of me that I didn't even know there was room for
The oppression of my desires  had manifested into a visualisation that this baby was mine and that I had lost it and thats why I woke up
Because I have been celebrating you so long
And I have been celebrating you so long
And I had pushed it to the depth of me
And I no longer knew who I was
I had become the baby
I was the one yearning for sustenance
It felt the same as the longing to be held
To be a baby
And I just fell back asleep that night