I am from

A Poem by LisaButterfly

My name is Lisa
Also known as the Child Eternal
I am from church hymns and the Virgin Mary
The hater of morning shows
And plastic smiles that they shape

Also known as too sensitive
The hopeless romantic
The nail biter
The hair straightener
Who's father found her putting powder on her face
Longing for belonging
The little black duck
Who became a cherished little girl in her fathers eyes to the observer in the backdrop of the tennis club

A girl whose family were placed in a system of assimilation
Losing her language and the ways Italians do things
The mediator between The Godfather and Al Pacino
Migrant men who look up to the mafia because that's what they are told to
The girl who moved out of the warmth of the Italian family into the coldness of individualism
Longing for belonging
An Italian with Arab eyes
A woman with curly hair
Who found God in the most unusual places
Like when bathing those who couldn't bath themselves
And in the mountains which engulfed me
Who found Oneness from the villages to the cities

My name is Lisa
Also known as a Muslim
I come from trampolines and riding bikes
Milk bar crunchie bar ice-creams and Janet Jackson posters
A childhood emeshed between the contracdictions of Italian migrant stories of the suburbs and American sensationalism
Regular haircuts and Sunday visits to the relatives
Confession and Miss World beauty pageants
I come from pasta and minestrone
Baptism and graffiti on the church wall
Nonno's pianaccordian
Drunken conflicts and my mother in the audience
That smell of comfort in the air
Nonna's white knitted blankets for my baby to come
Hugs and kisses from aunties and uncles
Fluoro shoelaces and gelati trucks

My name is Lisa
A girl who lost her way
And found herself in the desert of Cairo
And in the walls of the mosques which surround it
Who transformed from the girl wearing white sitting in the church
To a woman still on that search for places without furniture
Stories of Secret rendevous and the wounded healer

Moving away from the absent father
And cherishing the moments of father daughter TV commentary
About Everyone Loves Raymond and bad soccer players
American Imperialism, media propaganda and nostaglia

My name is Lisa
Also known as the girl with the soft voice
But whose voice finds it hard to respond with kindness
Who finds it awkward to sit on Santas knee
Refusing to make light of things to do with faith
Keeping my voice soft and loud
Keeping those games children play
and those tones in the different rooms of my house
Cherishing the ornaments that make up my mothers bedroom
Kissing my father's hand and my mother's forehead
I am going to visit my aunties and uncles
Sing songs from the village
And talk over you with passion and drive
Just how my mamma's does