Wish Upon A Star

Also English 11.. Actually I got madd props for this one from my teacher. He usually doesn't like poems that rhyme, but thought this one was great.

I wish I may I wish I might
forego my selfishness tonight;
take my wish and give it away
to one who's hampered by sorrow day to day.
Give them this wish and grant it true
let them experience the happiness they once knew.

Give me the ability to make something right
a chance to free another of personal plight.
My reasoning needn't be told--
just cherish it and let good times unfold.
This gift, I am willing to share
to free one person from their despair.

I wish I may, I wish I might
pass along my wish tonight,
along to the one who's forever cursed by doubt
let them have the chance to let their happiness shine out;
Shine out from the true soul within,
let me help their life of possibility begin.

Reviews

[J. James Reider]

It is really no wonder why you recieved "mad props" for this work... I personally think it is an instant contest winner if you can find the right contest.. I think there is one about rewriting a story... I will see and pass the link on to you if you like... this poem's beauty stands alone albeit by the virtue of selflessness.... and the play of the wish upon a star nursery rhyme we all know is simply genius... a true work of beauty in the art of the pen!
p.s. I do not normally give out 100% ratings, but this piece is truly deserving of one!

[Bonnie]

Well done. It is a good length and composed well.

I like the way it flows and the rhyme is not 'forced' as I find sometimes when the poet is trying too hard.

The content of the wish is wonderful, so uplifting and selfless. You deserve all the positive reviews and rewards for this one!

[cyanskye]

Speaking as one that prefers poems that rhyme...this is beautiful. You were a very insiteful 11th grader. nice job.

[Cylis Derrens]

A truly selfless wish and a wonderful poem. We should all wish for nothing less.

[Charles Petrie]

Yes!

This is rather very quite good. I like and you're deserving of the "mad props" you got.

Though it looks short to the read, there is very much a meatiness to it, and it holds within it the basis of a very beautiful story about one's sacrifice for another.

And personally, this is how I like the spacing of a poem to be, the easiest to read.

Eight and a half Leaves.

[Dawn Jones]

Oh my goodness baby, this is amazing. This is so selfless and wonderful. Beautiful. You are the most amazing person. One of the few in this world willing to give away your wish to someone who needs it... the only one who would do it that I know... wow.