Chapter Twelve

 

Finally, Sara awoke to the sweet scent of Melanie’s hair and body.  She must have gotten shampoo, body wash, and such while she was out this morning.  Her hair smelled of strawberries, as did her skin.  Tightening her grip around Mel’s body, Sara held onto that smell.  She felt safe with the scent of strawberries wrapped around her like a warm blanket.  Tucking her face in close to the nape of Mel’s neck, she sensed more than saw that Mel was awake.  It was just the way that her body reacted to Sara’s arm gripping around her abdomen and cuddling up close that told her. 

Snuggling up close, she closed her eyes and let out a breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding.  “How long have I been asleep?”

“Not long, it’s only like 2:00 or something.”  Mel rested her hand over Sara’s arm, which made her smile.

“I feel like a bum, all I’ve been doing is sleeping.  I could at least help around the house or something to pay Jared back for letting us stay here.”

“You’re fine.  He’s content with us just being here.  You can see that, can’t you?  He’s thoroughly enjoying your company, and mine too.  More so yours though, he loves you and knows you more than he does me.”

Sara tensed at the comment and Mel rolled over to face her.

“It’s okay to be loved, you know.  Actually being loved isn’t going to be the end of the world or something.  I love you, Jared loves you, and that’s all there is to it.  Well, you love us, too.”

Sara opened her mouth to protest and closed it again, as if she’d thought better about what she was going to say.

“Don’t deny that you love him, I can tell you do.”

“How?”

“The way you watch him, the way you act around him, and the way he makes you smile.  Not everyone can make you smile and have that happiness show in your eyes.  As a matter of fact, very few can.  Jared and I are the only two that I know of.”

Sara tried to wipe the look of defeat off of her.  “Okay, maybe I do love him, but…  I don’t feel like I’m in love with him.  It’s a different love.  You’re right, I do love you, but I think that might be a different love too, one in its own category.  It’s complicated.  I don’t even understand it and they’re my feelings.”  She sighed.

“It’s okay, I know what you mean.  I hate not understanding my own emotions, it feels like the one thing I’m supposed to be able to control, I can’t.  It sucks.”

Sara half laughed, “Yeah, it does.  Big time.”

They stared into each other’s eyes for several moments.

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen your eyes this color.”  Mel looked like she was mesmerized.

“What color?”

“It’s like a vibrant, vibrant, pale bluish color.  I can’t really explain it.  Sort of like a pale blue topaz, just not so translucent.  It’s pretty.  I like it.”

“Oh, yeah, they don’t turn this color often.  Very seldom actually.”

“Would explain why I haven’t seen them this color then, wouldn’t it?”

“Heh, yeah, I suppose it would.” 

Looking into Mel’s eyes, Sara could see the questions she wanted to ask, but wouldn’t.  She guessed it was because she didn’t want to open up old wounds or make fresh ones and decided to let it go.  If Mel wanted to ask something, she would when she felt the time was right.  Yet, Sara couldn’t help but be curious.  She opened her mouth to ask, but forced herself to resist the urge to ask what Mel wanted to know, and it was hard.  Instead, she just closed it again and continued looking into those beautiful hazel eyes.

It was Melanie who broke the silence first.  “Sara?”

“Hmm?”

“I’ve been thinking…”

“Oh no, not that.  Stop, you might hurt yourself.”  Sara grinned.

“No, seriously.  I’ve been thinking about, well…  I’ve been thinking about this whole Josh thing, and you, and everything.”

The tone in Mel’s voice made Sara stop messing with her and look at her attentively.  She was serious, the kind of serious that comes from long hours of thinking and hurting.  “Go on.”

“Well…  I already made my mind up about Josh.  I’m going to leave him.  He’s being a total a*****e and he has no right to be.”

“I agree, for the most part, but technically, you are his girlfriend.”

“I know, but he’ll just have to get over it.  I’ll call him when I get the nerve to.”

That made Sara smile.  “It’ll be okay.”  She hugged Mel.

Mel nodded and returned the hug.  When she pulled back from it there were the beginnings of tears in her eyes.

“What’s wrong honey?  What else did you want to say that you haven’t yet?”

“Well, it’s just that… he changed so fast.  I had no warning.  I endangered you and I feel like s**t about it.  It’s my fault, I should have known.”

“No it isn’t.  It’s not your fault, you couldn’t have known.  Don’t blame yourself for this.  You couldn’t have stopped it.  No one could but Josh.”

“Well, yeah, but…  I don’t want to get you hurt.”  Melanie looked up at Sara with pleading, sad eyes.

“It’s okay hon.  I’m okay.  I promise.  Nothing happened to hurt me.  Come here.”  Sara opened her arms in a circle and motioned for Mel to cuddle.  Mel went over to her and laid in the circle of her arms.  Sitting there in silence, Sara smoothed Mel’s hair and held her hand as she silently cried in her lap.  She knew there had to be more in order for Mel to be this torn up, but she’d let her tell in her own time.  No need to push the issue though…  Right?