Precious One

I can't get over him. And he probably doesn't know I exist.

f I never saw you again,
If our paths never crossed like they did once before,
It wouldn't matter.
I would still love you and love you
And keep you as safe from afar
As I could,
And support you in every way possible,
And imagine holding you in my arms
And keeping you warm and loved
When I sense you need it most-
When my eyes fly open in the middle of the night,
Sensing you,
And I reach for my phone and see that you can't sleep on your Instagram account.

I've been there, my darling. And I will send you soothing thoughts each time and hope you sleep, and hope you don't need anything outside of yourself except maybe my love to calm you.

No matter how long I go without you,
I will not really be without you,
Because you are in my mind and my heart and I feel
Your sweet spirit every single day,
And I love you with all of me.

I hope you feel this love somehow and I hope you can benefit from it.

I feel pain in your eyes sometimes that almost hollows me out inside and the tears burst out so hard that I can't contain them.

I want to be able to quell that pain in you and in me, and I will do it from afar as best as I can,
But I would love to help you in a more tangible way as well.

I love you so very much, my Precious One. 

Author's Note

I understand that this is maybe too melodramatic and that the setup may look strange to some. Just looking for any constructive feedback. Thanks!

Reviews

[Debbie Barry]

The emotion in this is just amazing. I can feel your yearning to be with someone who isn't with you. I've been there, and it resonated with me.

Since you asked for constructive criticism, I would suggest trying to find a way to break your lines down. Your reader can follow your ideas better if the lines are no more than 10 or 14 syllables long, and all the same length. As you have it, the reader doesn't have built-in pauses to take a breath, but that's not too hard to fix, and the message in your poem is worth it. You have beauty, love, pain, and hope here, and you want your reader to appreciate that, without getting tired or lost on the way there.

Alsoi, and for the same reasons, you might want to look at your punctuation use. You'll probably find that you want a comma, semicolon, or period almost every place you end up breaking up the lines, because they provide cues to the reader to pause and take a breath.

I really enjoyed your poem. I'm glad I found it.

[AriesGirl]

Thank you for your honesty. I'm going to work on the structure to make an easier read for my audience. I tend to just write whatever flows out of me and not think enough about how it is presented. This is a very personal piece and I am so glad that you enjoyed it.

[Debbie Barry]

You're welcome. I hope the suggestions were helpful.