Healing Meditation

My personal experience with meditation.

 

Using Meditation to Heal Me

            I have to meditate in order to maintain my sanity. I suffer from bipolar disorder. In therapy, I learned to use guided imagery to help me with the ravages of my illness. I so desperately need a guide to help me imagine that my life can be better and what I am feeling now does not have to be. This comes through guiding my mind through healthier images. What became a treatment has now become a way of life for me. I have continued to follow up my therapy and I now have added Yoga meditation to reinforce and fulfill my needs. As I walked into church one Sunday, I turned to look behind me.  A visual popped into my head.  I could see trailing behind me, a funeral constituency.  There was a hearse and a handful of cars.  Being my funeral, there would only be a few attendances.  My sometimes characteristic irrational behavior, has not left with me with a large following of friends and admirers.  I know this sounds morbid.  When you are so depressed, you are unable to concentrate on anything other than death, this thinking is normal.  Normal thinking aside, the reality is you are very ill.  My depressive nature and its preoccupation with death, can wear my soul to threads.  It clamors in my head like loud bells being tolled at midnight.  The sound is loud; the world around it is quiet. Once again, I shake into reality and try to do one healthy thing that will bring me some relief. I meditate. I drive down a quiet road and allow the sun to seep into my pores.  This little attempt provides me with assurance of another day.  I can only make the best next choice, and force myself to take the right step to healing.  The one constant source in my life is the knowing that my bipolar journey continues daily.  It is my friend and my admirer.  What saves me is meditating. I meditate day and night some days just to find freedom. Some days it is are hard, like the trailing funeral already mentioned, I work hard to focus. Other days I am just there imagining myself out of pain and guiding myself to a greater well being.