Night Blossoms Black (Villanelle)

Night blossoms black on the tide of sleep
in costive silence above the grave.
The roses bleed, but I will not weep.

My love is now gone beyond my keep,
but I am forevermore his slave.
Night blossoms black on the tide of sleep.

The panoplies of memories sweep,
being threaded from the love he gave.
The roses bleed, but I will not weep.

The vines of time meander and creep,
coiling around as though to enslave.
Night blossoms black on the tide of sleep.

Immortal beloved, sleeping deep,
your heart was both laudable and brave.
The roses bleed, but I will not weep.

Instead, I choose my memories reap
of the love that no distance can stave.
Night blossoms black on the tide of sleep.
The roses bleed, but I will not weep.

Reviews

[emipoemi]

Strong imagery, loose rhythm, profound poetry. (and I quite enjoy a good Villanelle). Well done!

[Hellslastwarrior]

Very much enjoyed this read like the structure you set the poem, enjoyed the oh so descriptive manner of your writing. Loved the way you forced imagery into my mind of dark thoughts. Good read keep it up and check my work out if you get any time.
TEd
PS 95 rating.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

I personally think you did a beautiful job with the form~ in fact you took it and made it fluid~ bent it graceful against the ethereal moment you create above~ absolutely gorgeous descriptive outlines~ curious how to my mind instantly jumped a darker version of the sleeping beauty who sleeps not because of a puncture wound from a loom but from puncture wounds received from an ashen creature's kiss~ smoky blue in mood~ textured rich in story~ I adore your spinerette~

[thedaydreamer]

Notwithstanding to the the intricacies of refrains in a Villanelle, you have succeeded in giving it a great form and the feelings flow swiftly.

It needs a genius to keep the continuity of the poetic form as well as the feelings flowing till the 19th line. And you have done a wonderful job.

However, I don't think I love the fourth and fifth stanzas, as much I loved the other ones. There's not the natural flow in those lines, I guess. I don't know, if it's because of some flaw in this writing or the citadel of expectations I have from you.

Both you and your experiments with poetic forms inspire me.

:)

[Dinesh Sairam]

Forms with many refrains (Villanelle, Pantoum) leave the poet with less words to use and the lesser words must be chosen very carefully. If this had been anyone else's write, I would have said it's wonderful. Since it's by you, I have to say, I expect a lot more than this.

Of course, you have followed the pattern without a flaw and the rhymes are great. But something -- Some 'Substance' is missing (Maybe I feel just so).

Once again, I loved the pattern, wording and pattern. But something that was present in most of your works was not present in this.. I can't for sure tell what.. I'm sorry :(

Keep writing.