In The Grave Of My Eyes

You
left me
long ago,
kissed me goodbye
with your long absence.
I never forget you.
You did not know what to say,
but your silence said it clearly.
When the sea rose in my eyes, you drowned,
destroying all the bridges to my past.
Then, fell the night like a bottle of ink,
writing on the shore of my body,
staining the sheets with suppleness.
I dreamed that you would return.
My heart swings with the tide;
but you are no more,
slumbering deep
in the grave
of my
eyes.

Reviews

[Abdul Aziz]

Beautiful. The whole double etheree reads like one long extended metaphor. A very ingenious one, at that. As usual, there are far too many favorite lines for me to be able to quote. Thanks for sharing this one. This inspires me to try and write a double etheree too!

[FlawedByDesign]

You pulled off this double etheree quite well and it almost looks like a tear :'(
I have yet to find the courage to attepmt something like this, but I will continue looking to you for inspiration :D
Love the line,
"Then, fell the night like a bottle of ink"

Great job.

[Dinesh Sairam]

Hmm.. A double etheree; Haven't come across one since google search :P I was told etherees 'usually' rhyme. But I guess it's better unrhymed. It's already tedious to compress your thoughts into a compact, small poem and now you have to rhyme too? I don't think that's a good idea. This is beautiful (Reminded me of Abdul's 'Blue eyed morning' for some reason) and no glitch in the form. Well done, once again :) I liked the concept of 'The grave in the eyes' ;)

Keep writing.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

the images you create with words are pure ink moods~ in each word a movement expanding and contracting like ribs with breath~ the format is a perfect fit for the subject matter~ drizzled down the page like drops of pain~ dazzling~