Incredible...a sublime mix of hearthstone, open skies, and heartbeats.
'Teach me the love that is found in a rose
and written in crimson calligraphy
across the earth, making merry of woes,
in a swirl of fire and epiphany.'
Your touch in this poem beggars description. Where has your work been hiding?
This is a very sweet poem and a very truthful one. It captures completely the essence of true love and a lover's quiet longing to be fulfilled by their heart's desire.
This is quite possibly one of the most perfect poems about love that I have ever read. I found its words timeless, and the flow and rhythm to be almost indescribably beautiful. You have tapped into ancient wisdom... the wisdom of surrender to another's ability to make us look deep within our selves. What a positive, sensitive, and glorious piece, rife with joy and singing with the strains of the eternal.
Thats so beautiful!! .... I loved it so much, especially :
Teach me to whisper the words of my heart,
the lover's song that I'm aching to sing
and bridge the distance which keeps us apart
by teaching heart how to lift its redwing
your poetry full of tender love and passion desire, you mixed the 2 and created a beautiful writting
Yossi
This wonderful poem had so much. It was elemental - "swirl of fire and epiphany" - Nature - the rose, mist on water, - "Teach me the hope of the blossoming bud, tremendously tender and spun sublime," then there is passion -
"Teach me the love of a lifetime of bliss,
where warm shades of passion burn like a fire,
where foreplay flutters are born in the kiss
between lips of unquenchable desire. "
- - - mixed with tenderness, and then - despite the emotion and the passion we come to the fact that, as a poet, you have put it all together so aaccurately and grammatically yet not sullied its meaning or its freshness and intensity with pretty rectitude. Great poem - the sort of stuff a lover would want to receive and a lover would wish to write. Hark, was that the postman? could there be such a letter - - for me?!?!?
John
lyrical, vivacious 'n word-music to my ears -- I've long held the idea that this ancient ache of yearning is what it's all about -- longing for the beloved has garnered more creative acts of Love than has consummation in the lust of climax, that is to say, the peregrinated lover, always going toward the beloved, goes farther than he could by himself -- alluring Beauty by a longing Love is the magnetic centre of my Heart - a peregrinated voyager on the blissful waves of forever, longing the compass, always going hOMe -- Novalis, the German Romantic Poet wrote, 'We read Poetry to heal the wounds that reason makes,' while I also garden for the same purpose writing has often been a balm to what is lacking in the, 'please be reasonable' approach to living -- the Poem is never finished, the writer is always writing, grasping at the numinous the illogical - guided by a pen dipped in fire and tears, hopes and fears - aspired or enthused, drunk or merely called to a task he cannot finish as truth 'n beauty have no beginning nor end -- the writer is the pen and the words he has caught in the wind, a speaking heart singing a longing tale where there is only one Poem, one Story, one Song -- a deeply conflicted Romanticism -- a plaint of Beauty which cannot be captured nor knows any fear yet is neither consummated in passionate embrace, a kissless kiss, a touchless face -- so sHe goes to that longing Love that shall ne'er be won, peregrinated to follow an ancient aching heart 'til life is done --
in Romantic Mysticism the longing is often an allusion to the ever seeking Heart toward the beloved as the goal is Love; experienced but never sated - Oh, to kiss the beloved with the same kiss the beloved kisses me, and in that kiss live an eternity - our hearts know this, Love attracts Love, the secret of the kiss -- and the law of attraction is as above, so in you, as you see Beauty, so it is in you, too -- all Lovers invent the Beloved and then the Music, the Poem, the Story is always about that -- the Lover makes the music, the Poem the Story as a texture of that ancient ache, a reality play which changes in innumerable revisions and realizations forever voyaging with the heart as compass - always going, never arrived - Love has no opposite -- the opposite of hate is discriminating wisdom
theres a hole in my head where the wounds of reason seep, words are dead inside my head, whats left is dark 'n deep -- the reality is there are no words that can encompass all Truth 'n Beauty as these are roiling, changing percepts that never end -- we are all the 'feelers' 'n tendrils of Nature on this planet -- a thin organic, ever coming 'n going, layer of existential urges -- sHe ( the Planet ) is becoming conscious through us as the sphere of reckoning -- however sHe sees stars as the goal of her urge to surge in the wonder of a blazing plasmic Sun -- so Truth 'n Beauty are also a matter of scale as Galaxies would see a Black Hole as their goal of ultimate realEYEsation -- where do you want to realEYEs today? -- sweetly done Linda
Reading your ethereal poem sitting, as I am, in a world of steel, concrete, glass, facts and spreadsheets, I feel impoverished as I don't have any of those qualities present in my life! If one of the aims of poetry is to show us higher states, then your poem scores a bull's eye.
Your poem was recommended to me by my friend Mark--you'll find his review below. I must admit, after reading the first two stanzas my jaw was beginning to drop open. This was some of the most beautiful lyric poetry I have ever read. But then problems started to arise. The first two lines of the third stanza are fine, although not as powerful and the first two stanzas, but then the last two lines shattered the near perfect cloud of bliss that I was floating on.
"where shadows of thought are an aliment,
a source of life among ruin and ash."
"aliment" is so harsh and frankly I don't understand what you're trying to say here. And there are similar problems with meaning in other phrases such as
"and flaming curves that are bedewed with time"
"waiting for the winds of a warmer hue"
What do these mean?
Still, the poem has startling beauty. You clearly have a nack for lyric poetry which is especially appealing to me. This poem has so much potential. It just needs some work to give every line and phrase razor sharp meaning coupled with lyrical beauty. If you can continue the unsurpassed beauty of the first two stanzas throughout the poem, the effect would be blinding. Those familiar with my reviews will know that I have never, ever, given a 99 rating (a rating of 100 is impossible!) for a poem. The highest I've ever given is 98, and of the 332 reviews I've given up to this point, I've given a 98 only 4 times. As my jaw was dropping after reading the first two stanzas I was getting excited because I had thought: "Is this a 99, finally?" I think this still can be a 99 with some work, and boy, would that be worth the effort. I know you can do it. Just look at those first two stanzas! Marvelous!
Poetry has been my passion since I was about fifteen years old, and I love the structure of rhyme and meter moreso than just randomly throwing words upon a page without any form whatsoever.
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