' If ever you need me,
know I need you the most;
and I will be waiting
for the presence of ghost.
In the chapel of night,
beneath river and stones,
ever be it written
that I weep in my bones.'
Your words hit home and deeply, Linda. Silence is understandable when followed by the numbest chill of absence.. of your words first to last. Is as if one's flesh and mind has been scourged, scarred and thrown to.. those distant peripheres we can't see but know exist. You are here wrapped in your life as if a thrift shop net curtain that grew fur. Heavier and heavier. Your pain lights your words, exhibits and shares.. is like a helping hand in a warped way... beckoning pain to join pain and torment as if a gift. It's not though is it? It's the wrapping that surrounds and stays, magnetised, melded.
Your poem made me think of Anne Rice. It's like you summed up a bunch of her books in one poem. Servant of the Bones, and a ghost love story she wrote, Violin. You go from quoting Rumi in the last one I read to channeling Rice. I've always wondered why willows weep.
Beautifully expressed, the pain of loss, whilst you need not share who they were with the audience, as the pain is more than palpable enough without the need for naming who meant so much as to who they were, any more than you have allowed in this already perfect piece.
The grief in this one is almost palpable. The deceased is definitely one who was close, but no details are provided. Neither do we know how recent the passing was. I wondered if the raven in verse two is a nod to Poe, who often wrote of loves claimed by death. The mourning here is unbroken, as though the speaker is inconsolable, and time alone will bring any comfort.
PS: In the last verse, consider putting an "a" before "ghost."
Lovely flow of the rhythm of the verses. Death is always gelid, especially when it takes away those we love. But love is eternal and never dies. The deep pain of loss is so tangible that it brings tears to the eyes, as the reader envisions the emotions that inspired these lovely verses.
A stunning though sad piece, but created so that the reader must weep, must shiver at the emptiness of death, all silence...only your breath which is a whisper.... the need for someone loved, more than he/she ever knew....excellent!
Warmly,
B.
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 Year Ago
Thank you so much, Betty. I appreciate the visit and the review.
Another sad piece that tugs at the heartstrings of the reader. You take their hand with your words and lead them through your poetic world to show them what feelings, good or bad, are really like.
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 Year Ago
Thank you, dear friend. I hope you enjoyed your time away. Welcome back!
Thank you, Jacob. Feel free to use it to create a poem of your own with the same title. I think yo.. read moreThank you, Jacob. Feel free to use it to create a poem of your own with the same title. I think you've connected to it in a special way, and I would love to see the outcome.
Poetry has been my passion since I was about fifteen years old, and I love the structure of rhyme and meter moreso than just randomly throwing words upon a page without any form whatsoever.
Whi.. more..