Father, Forgive Me

I'm tired of thinking, and I am really tired of feeling.

Father, forgive me.

I have had enough of love,

of loving for free

down below and up above

the ghosts in my skin

who haunt me both day and night

residing within

like dark clouds blocking my sight.

 

I tear at my breast,

burst into a burning flame.

I thought You knew best,

but all I feel is my shame.

Perfection is rot

like an over-ripened fruit;

and all I have got

is the vain, weary pursuit.

 

Sweet wine on my tongue

embittered body and soul.

No love ever sung

was without brambles or toll.

Loose me or lose me.

Forgive me that I forget

bruises on body

and aberrations of jet.

 

The flocking of night

is lit by starlight on strings.

My birth is my right.

You promised so many things.

Silence is heavy

and surges into a roar.

Love is the levee,

but it can withstand no more.

 

I build an altar,

a meek scattering of stones;

and when I falter

within the bane of my bones,

Father, forgive me.

The grape withers on the vine.

I wanted to be

so much more than thee or thine.

 

Cry me a river

into the nib of my pen,

a bow and quiver

in the fragile world of men.

To know what I know

is to know what I am not,

to simply let go

and let it all be forgot.

Author's Note

Reviews

[FGFRANKLIN]

Well, let's not go throwing the baby of love and life out with the bathwater of the world. The feeling of safety is built on trust; uncertainty on the peril of betrayal. We can trust that love and life exist and can be sweet. But our expectations of what we want those same things to be can become very disconcerting. Love never hurts, expectations can go unfulfilled and loss can hurt terribly but like a game of chance we can only lose what we dare to risk. Sometimes the risk is worth the hurt, sometimes, not.

[James Mckay]

Powerfully written while feeling every word that hit the paper. Human emotions crying out. My heart literally sank as I read this. Well one Linda. All we ever really need is the love from our Father!

[E.P. Robles]

Linda, I can offer you an analysis of this poem from both a literary and psychological perspective.

From a poetic standpoint, this poem delves into themes of love, self-reflection, and the search for meaning and forgiveness.

You express a deep longing for love and connection but also acknowledge the burdens and pain that love can bring.

The imagery of ghosts haunting the speaker's skin and dark clouds blocking their sight creates a sense of inner turmoil and emotional struggle.

The poem reflects a sense of disillusionment and disappointment with the concept of perfection.

As the poet, you realize that striving for an idealized version of love or oneself is futile and ultimately leads to a sense of shame.

This realization is captured through the metaphor of an over-ripened fruit symbolizing the decay and disappointment that comes with pursuing an unattainable goal.

The use of religious imagery and language, such as references to the father and forgiveness, adds a spiritual dimension to the poem. It suggests a desire for absolution and a plea for release from the burdens carried.

The altar mentioned towards the end implies a search for solace and a willingness to let go of the expectations placed upon oneself.

From a psychological perspective, this poem resonates with the ideas of Carl Jung, particularly his concept of the shadow. The ghosts haunting the speaker's skin and the darkness blocking their sight can be seen as manifestations of the shadow, which represents the repressed or unacknowledged aspects of the self. The poet is grappling with these unconscious elements, seeking forgiveness and reconciliation with the shadow.

The longing for love and the pursuit of perfection can be seen as archetypal themes in human experience. Carl Jung believed that the search for wholeness and individuation involves integrating and accepting both the light and dark aspects of the self. In this poem, you, the Poet, confronts imperfections and struggles to reconcile them with aspirations.

The final lines of the poem reflect a desire for self-acceptance and a release from the burdens of the past. The act of crying a river and letting go signifies a willingness to embrace vulnerability and acknowledge the limitations of human existence. It suggests a transformative process of surrendering to the flow of life and finding peace in accepting what cannot be changed.

Overall, this poem explores complex emotions, spiritual yearning, and the inner journey of self-discovery.

It captures the poet's wrestling with personal demons and the universal quest for forgiveness, understanding, and self-acceptance.

I very much adored your prose and delving deep into your poem! Bravo!

[willweb]

Love when true is beautiful, love when merely a way to achieve certain things regardless of how it makes the other feel is worthless and pure evil. But the ability to forget and move on is priceless though do we ever forget? I think not. Beautifully crafted my sweet friend

[Weeping willow]

Beautifully expressed words, love the flow of emotions that spill out of the soul. Just lovely felt words ;-}

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Thank you so much. I appreciate your visit.

[E.P. Robles]

I very much like great poetry.