Not An Option

Forgive yourself for the blindness that put you in the path of those who betrayed you. Sometimes a good heart doesn't see the bad.

I am not attempting to reach for distant stars.

I am not looking for perfection in a man.

I am not an option just because you have scars,

and you have no right to hurt me although you can.

 

I am not a second choice, maybe, or perhaps.

I am not the unsettled reason for your why.

I am not the cause of your swift rise nor collapse,

and I am not the rain that clouded up your sky.

 

I am not the one who betrayed your endless trust,

who unraveled joy and your will to want to live.

I am not the one who lay down in naked lust

with a foul neighbor who had zero f***s to give.

 

I am the one who loved you, unfettered and free,

who accepted every flaw without condition,

who gave you every breath, everything within me,

who made a lifetime with you my sole ambition.

 

I am the one who waited, never losing hope.

I believed in you and prayed for you without pause.

I am left here dangling from this infernal rope.

It hurts me immensely to know you are the cause.

 

I am the one made stronger for your lack of love.

I never thought my love for you would ever end.

You are a blackheart, dark as starless nights above,

no more my moon, my love, my lover, nor my friend.

 

I am the one who poured everything into you.

I did not want to see you were a broken cup,

and a half love is no love that will ever do.

My devoted wings could not lift your spirit up.

 

I will take the blame as I have taken the fall.

You are not man enough, and you never will be.

For, I love with my whole heart or love not at all.

My love is a river, and it flows back to me.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Linda Marie... we can only be a friend; however, once in a great while... there is someone so Special... that we pause to count our blessings. I am one of those fortunate people. Part of us will always be lonely; however, we realize that "It is in Giving that we often Receive". It may forever be a Mystery. Your poetry has touched my heart and soul. tenderly, Pat

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This was heartbreaking. Needy people are nearly impossible to love. I can't imagine being expected to "fix" someone else when it's just not possible. The reason for that is simple, all change must come from within and we can't ever change anyone else, just ourselves. Still, it doesn't keep the heart from hoping the change will occur. But like words to the Eagles song "Sad Café'" so clearly point out, "Things in this life change very slowly if they ever change at all." All we can do is give it our best and let it go.

[Lorry]

There is never a winner when one gives and the other takes, because the taker is only playing a game, made up by them, with the others heart and that game can only ever be a pyrrhic victory.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Thank you for visiting, Lorry. Sadly, this seems to be the way of our world for the most part right now.

[willweb]

The voice in this speaks in tones of sadness. Love is not supposed to be that difficult. Love is supposed to be a gift, a promise, forever but some are not cut out for it. It hurts when you give your heart to someone who does not know how to treat it, how to hold it and keep it safe. I am not good at these reviews but I know what I like and I like your work. I am not sure where this comes from but if it is from personal experience, that breaks my heart. Love your poem, wish the message was more cheerful.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Hello, Will. It's the silent voice of acceptance that some things are just not meant to be. If someone treats you like an option, leave them like a choice. People treat you exactly how they feel about you, and love does not make you feel second best.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

no matter how hard we love someone, we cannot fix them...
They must right their own ship in order to meet ours somewhere in the middle.
Balance...
great poem,
j.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Yes! Every word that you have said is correct. A broken person cannot hope to have any kind of a decent relationship with anyone else until he has fixed himself. Thank you, Jacob.