Roses Rained When We Were Happy

Roses rained when we were happy.

Two birds fluttered on joyous wings,

and lips were selfishly sappy.

The sweet surfeit eternal springs!

The embouchement of all pleasure

was the breath of every word

and the heart’s most sacred treasure

that wings of angels might have stirred.

The midnight ocean of your hair

spilled so softly in blackest dark

in silken waves and perfumed air

beneath the bend of heaven’s arc.

Deeper down into the abyss,

there is nothingness without name

garbed in shadow and bitterness

where stars are stripped of fire and flame.

Rain laments among the roses,

and hearts are hollow as a tree.

The blossom of your love closes,

and green eyes gaze no more at me.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Augustus]

Beauty and pain go hand in hand often, like in this verse of your for instance. The metaphors associated with love are serene. The opening line is breathtaking. "Midnight ocean" is a gorgeous description of his hair. So many beautiful lines here.. "Wings of angels might have stirred" and "Stars are stripped of fire and flame", for instance can serve as textbook examples of fine verse. Lines that distinguish true poets from mere writers. The line "Rain laments among the roses" contrasts nicely with the opening line "Roses rained...". And the final line is so simple but so poignant! Tugs at the reader's heartstrings. This is a masterfully written piece of poetry. As charming as it is melancholic, and leaves a lasting impression on the reader. It has been a long long time since I last reviewed your work, Linda, so I don't even know if you remember me. But it was an absolute pleasure to revisit your page. Keep writing!

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Dear Augustus, Of course I remember you! It's so nice to share time with you again. Your review is so thoughtful and detailed, and I really appreciate the feedback. I specifically linked the first and last stanzas to show a stark difference between the beginning and the end of this relationship, and I'm honored that you took the time to notice. Thank you for stopping by to read me.

[Jack Necron (Aubrey Jac..]

Expertly crafted, displaying a level of skill I myself hope to achieve someday. The metaphorical imagery like a paintbrush and our minds the tapestry. The piece in it's entirety is compelling but the fourth and fifth stanzas in particular are hauntingly beautiful; they leave an imprint upon the mind, dredging up memories deep within. Love is a comforting, warm flame while stoked and when nothing remains but perished embers, everything becomes a little darker and colder. Thank you for sharing, I'm happy I read this.

[Robert Haigh]

Some good poetic imagery in this poem. The emotions are conveyed quite well too. I enjoyed the read.

[sL]

I appreciate that you are stretching my vocabulary. I have read only two of your poems (so far), and have been faced with lexical challenges in both.

This poem, "Roses rained when were happy," pulled me in with its title. It was so powerfully relatable. And it challenged me right away with the word "embouchement." After I stumbled over the word, I went ahead and read on to the end. I knew I was smitten with the poem so I looked up "embouchement" and came back to the poem. What a beautiful perfect word for that stanza!

I have now reread the piece a handful of times and certainly, the vocabulary was not the only impressive characteristic of it, but I fear that I will have a lot to say as I read on through some of your poems, and I don't want to get repetitive. I'm excited to continue reading your work. I came across your name as I was reviewing another writer. Your comment to this wonderfully talented poet indicated that you envied his style but that you don't envy many. I thought that this honest comment may indicate that you are wonderfully talented too. And yes, you are.

[Lyn Anderson]

This is beautiful. Wonderfully laid out. I love the descriptions of the long dark hair -- very romantic.

[Bacchus]

the thought of roses raining...
red ones with love-
totally replaced...

oddly this reminded me from a scene of white roses raining from the Hunger Games- much darker and totally different- but that's where it brought me

Interesting it ends the way it does... the eyes can tell if they are there or have gone.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Thank you. I am more of a binge watcher when it comes to television series and movies. I watched a bit of the first Hunger Games when it was on the television but haven't seen any of the others. If I recall correctly, they have finally ended or the last one is in theaters now. I'll have to add them to my list for watching.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i smelled those roses before...the scent made me high....but then after the good-bye..just dead roses and ugly mulch...even though the good memories still flowered once in a while....they never seemed the same.

love the metaphorical complexity here---simple in a way, yet so much deeper...

j.