Snowfall Soliloquy

I don’t know why I keep coming back here

holding onto death in a snow bouquet.

It’s like time has frozen every tear

and tossed them to heaven, to fall, to lay.

I walk on my heart, under ground, on you,

the soft white silence of a thousand odes,

hoping for something, much deeper and true

to rise from the depths of earthly abodes.

The shade of a shadow covers my eyes

like cobwebs clinging in corners of time;

and a blanket of snow covers the skies,

a white sheet aching for rhythm and rhyme.

I search for the answers I cannot find,

looking for something I will never see,

starved for affection and blinder than blind.

I cannot describe this ache within me.

I trudge onward because I know I must.

I hang in the balance between the dead

wanting so badly to love and to trust,

chiseled with hunger and tearing like bread.

I have drowned in pools of heartache and shame,

the faint full falling between here and there,

a symbol of nothing and naught but name

to keep me company when all is bare.

I begged with the honesty of a child.

I pleaded with God but pleaded in vain.

I wept to the heavens, gentle and wild,

seeking sweet solace again and again.

Sweet Ophelia! I sink into tears.

A sparrow’s song stretches upon its bough,

an echo of the soul and bygone years,

a tribute to nothing left of me now.

I don’t know why I keep coming back here

dragging my dress like a whisper to earth

hoping that somehow, someway you will hear

and validate that I’m more than I’m worth.

I love you more than I ever could tell.

I have missed you every single day

and wish my words could uplift and indwell,

bring you back to me forever to stay.

Tonight is the coldest night of the year.

The white-shawled wind is promising more snow.

How long have I yearned and never been near

to the one who left me so long ago?

When the heart its whispers of love shall cease

and my spine be burrowed in sweet repose

perhaps I shall find sweet moments of peace

between the shadows of twilight and rose.

Author's Note

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow...i really like the parallels drawn between the speaker and Ophelia...what death can do to us...blinds us like a snowfall...a blizzard of pain in the heart...

and then we wonder if we really want to go on...

nice rhyme scheme...and just a really moving write.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Thank you, Jacob. The snowfall was great inspiration for me to stir up this poem. I truly do wonder why "I always keep coming back here," but it's my life and it's who I am. No matter how I try, I cannot shake this snow. As always, thank you for reading.