Mourning Melody

 

The night lived in the tendrils of her hair.

Like sea-washed silk, it had a moonlit shine;

and her eyes held a smile within their stare

whose delight was a transport to divine.

 

Her laughter and lace skirted on the wind

and fluttered on wings of a butterfly

whose gentle birth and unfortunate end

tilted a mirror of tears in the sky.

 

She bowed her head for the very last time

as the bullet turned her world to ashes

and struck her down while she was in her prime

as she closed the dark wing of her lashes.

 

The incense of dreams rises through the sky

floating on the brim of diurnal light,

disappears in the distance, lost to the eye,

like an eagle beyond the mountain height.

 

The quiet earth settles into her bones

forever silent, forever to be -

her fragile wings at the mercy of stones

that left us to mourn over Melody.

 

I close my eyes and brush the hair of night

until its shadow slips off of the trees

and falls like a dress with threads of starlight

across the cusp of the earth and the seas.

Author's Note

October 30, 2009 – 16-year old Melody Ross was shot while leaving Wilson High School’s homecoming football game in Long Beach, California. Her parents survived the Killing Fields of Cambodia. Melody didn’t survive the streets of America.

Reviews

[Rachelle]

I have no words - only misery. Prayers for her on All Souls Day.

[00000000000000000000000..]

That was powerful, sad with touch of remembering memory Thank you for sharing your heart:)

[Tate Morgan]

Phew this was phenomenal .Well done. What a tribute . I pale in comparison .

[Coyote Poetry]

A very sad poem. She was a beautiful girl. It is terrible when so many young people are being killed. Her poor parent survived hell and had to relearn great sadness. No greater lost than the death of your child. Thank you for the poem. I will put the poor family in my prayers.
Coyote

[Augustus]

A very poignant elegy. The same structure as Thomas Gray's masterpiece: "Elegy written in a country churchyard". This solemn write not only mourns the death of an innocent girl, but also makes the reader ponder over the deplorable state that our society has degenerated into. I would say that the structure (abab, iambic pentameter) is well-suited for this twofold purpose and indeed, Gray's elegy too is as philosophical as it is plaintive. You have used it quite effectively here, even though some syllables have the wrong stress....

Coming to the content, I think the opening line is absolutely divine. It made an immensely deep impression. The imagery in the final stanza is sublime and carries the grace of the romantics. Overall, I think it is a grave and enchanting write that immediately makes the reader empathize with the victim, but also makes him think. Well penned! Thank you.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Thank you so much for the informative and insightful critique. I have never read Thomas Gray nor the 'Elegy Written In a Country Churchyard,; but of course, I had to seek it out. Wow! I didn't expect it to be so lengthy. I have bookmarked it for later reading as I have company about to arrive.

Nonetheless, thank you so much for taking the time to review my poem. The first line of the poem came as delivered, and the rest as a natural flow. The form seemed to fit the tone that I was going for.

[Augustus]

Yes, Gray's elegy is extremely lengthy. But I'm sure you'll see what I mean once you read it. Here's a quote from that poem.

"Full many a gem of purest ray serene
The dark unfathom'd caves of ocean bear:
Full many a flower is born to blush unseen,
And waste its sweetness on the desert air"

It's a pleasure to read your verse. I remember having done so a very long time ago. I was impressed then. I am impressed now.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Bless you. :-)

[Gleb Zavlanov]

Another gorgeous poem with a very deep, sorrowful core. I love the way you use silver lining to decorate even the darkest of ideas. And I couldn't agree more with David Scott. This truly is worthy poetry. It's terrible that human lives are wasted like this, but it's beautiful that people, like you, still commemorate those who didn't have a full chance at life. Beautiful poem!

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Thank you, Gleb. I have had to search for that silver lining in my own life, having a path set before me by my parents that was full of brambles, thorns, and darkness. I might be a cloud, but I hope the rain generates flowers. :-)

[Gleb Zavlanov]

That last line in your review comment struck me, just like your poetry!

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

:-) I smile in gratitude. Thank you.

[David Scott]

You penned a fitting tribute.
It is sad to see any life cut down much more so the lives of our children.
Very worthy poetry!

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Thank you, David. What's worse is when that child is shot by another child. It's the senseless waste of human life all the way around.

[Misery]

A beautiful remembrance for a beautiful soul.
Too many guns in too many hands, where and when will it all end???
Perhaps only the dead have truly seen the end of insanity.