I Open A Vein and Rain

Leaves begin their slow descent,

scattered between pages of blue and green,

while others cling to a life they can no longer live.

I feed the fire and see what I have seen -

his sweet smile smiling - and I can easily forgive

this unrelenting torment.

 

I close my eyes to listen,

and I can hear his laughter in the rain.

He will never know how much I loved to hear him laugh!

An echo, and I hear him laugh again!

It’s funny how the mind becomes the heart’s telegraph,

beguiling tears to glisten.

 

I embrace a silent world,

whose breath is but a whisper of his name,

and bleed into greener days when I danced in the sun.

I know that things will never be the same.

For me, he was and ever will be the only one,

my little love flag unfurled.

 

I will never love again.

Under a slab of stone, I’ll love him still.

Have no doubt of the earnestness of this narrative!

When the sun sets over the frozen hill

and others cling to a life they can no longer live,

I open a vein and rain.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Clouded in Hopeful Illu..]

“I feed the fire and see what I have seen –“ this line could have a lot of background meaning to it. Feed the fire makes me, at first, think that the speaker is pulling the leaves off of the trees to help their descent to death and hence feeding the fire of dead leaves. Then, coming to the second part of this line, “and see what I have seen” – this makes me think of paganism. When pagans wanted a vision of the past, present or future, they would call upon the elements to aid them in this spiritual quest. Fire and water were the two most prominent and the subject of spirituality and past and future are all themes within this poem so it is plausible.


“I close my eyes to listen,
and I can hear his laughter in the rain.” – I am curious about this rain. Since it sounds like his laugh, or rather the speaker can hear his laugh in the rain, then what kind of rain is it? Is it a soft batting on the shingles of the roof, or the loud thunder of hard rain against the concrete? This would be a good opportunity to give the read a chance to love his laugh just as much as the speaker does.

“heart’s telegraph,” – love the sound and picture of this

“beguiling tears to glisten.” – this is an interesting thought. The fact that tears can be beguiled into glistening. Also the image of rain and tears within one stanza is very strong and, although it is often used within the same stanza as a reflection of each other, you do a great job with not making this part cliché.

“I will never love again.” – This line is somewhat redundant because readers understand this from the stanza before it and it is almost too much, hitting us over the head with the fact that this man was the speaker’s one and only.

“Have no doubt of the earnestness of this narrative!” – This line threw me right out of the poem. It broke the flow and added a different voice to the narrative that I wasn’t expecting. It’s almost as if the speaker is unsure and has to say that they are earnest, not for us as the readers, but for the speaker itself. With so much confidence displayed throughout the poem, this seems out of character for the speaker and the poem as a general whole.



Well done on not making this a cliché, over-done suicide poem. There is a good indication from the beginning that it might lead to a suicide but at the same time, the language allows the room for doubt – that maybe, just maybe, there will be some epiphany at the end and not the end of a life.

[Lydia Shutter]

“It’s funny how the mind becomes the heart’s telegraph,” What a wise line this is.....so very true. The mind expresses what the heart feels. The words bled on the page come straight from your heart, Linda. They speak of a love that was so strong it will last through the next world. It will never die. Truly and eternal love. Yes, tears will fall and you will mourn, but eventually life does go on....because it must. Your words are stunningly emotive and beautifully written. Heartfelt. Lydi**

[Tate Morgan]

I am not really a fan of this particular meter . But you do it justice and are accomplished at its creation I think.A beautiful rendering

[1]

Beautifully written! Love is much deeper than most people think.... Or do most people simply take love for granted? Selfishness runs amuck in this wonderful world....... a sidekick of narcissism!

Gus Owens

[Clayton Bardwell]

I enjoyed the clever phrasing.

[OTownPete]

Oh my, when a love has been that deep and it has seemed the end all and be all how can one possibly accept the notion of ever finding that kind of love again. I get it. Your friend in words, Pete

[emmajoy]

We look back, wishing we could look forward, but, life and love isn't like that. Your finely phrased poetry make this desperate hurt near beautiful. But then, your poetry has always touched the senses. What a truly touching stanza:

'I close my eyes to listen, ~ and I can hear his laughter in the rain. ~ He will never know how much I loved to hear him laugh! ~ An echo, and I hear him laugh again! ~ It’s funny how the mind becomes the heart’s telegraph, ~ beguiling tears to glisten.'

What is it about missing laughter that hurts so much .. dear goodness, 'know that feeling.

(maybe omit the final stanza?)

[Strider Marcus Jones]

Stunning poem, title and metaphor and some lovely phrasing. Excellent. 100/100

[Neville]

I take my hat off to you Linda Marie Van Tassell, this is an extraordinarily well penned literary expression of love, passion and desire ... However, believe me you will feel passion, love, life and desire again & again & again... All Good Things my literary friend,

Neville

[Chris]

Every thing touched ends becoming an echo... likes, favorites, foods, places - to the point of there IS no escape ...even after the tears run dry. Until the heart is ready to breathe again.

I like the style and the way the thoughts are developed.